#sorry this was late @_@....... I took a break during that weekend & the week after that I kept thinking abt streaming

[gotchibam]

I'm sorry for posting this 2 weeks late but here it is!! This is the full canvas from the magma session hosted last 10/12!

Full pic: https://magma.com/shared/WaFnHaUsnz3LBsdsVv6RDS

Thanks so much to @doodlejoltik, @opossumonashelf, @kitsuroid, @sonikkuruzu, @protagpigeon, @owlmond, @plantollante (plus others I may have missed - lemme know so I can tag you!) for participating!! ;w; <3

[enwoso]

not sure what your plans or chronologically for the grumpy universe

but could you write something where tiny is a teenager and she’s going through a rebellious phase. out late, parties, that sort of vibe

TEENAGE TERRORS — alessia russo x teen!reader

buckle up she’s a long one! i didn’t really know how i was going to end this so the ending is a little iffy but ENJOY!

lil psa, not wanting to disappoint anyone but this is probably one of the only ones i’ll write with lovie as a teen just as its a little bit more difficult to get the dynamics right. i’m sorry, i still love you all🤍

grumpy masterlist

you were now sixteen, however you were still your mums little girl.

your mum had since retired from football and had moved into working still within the football scene: part time football pundit for the international matches but still giving back to the local clubs making sure that girls sports was supported in a way they should be.

since you were now able to look after yourself, your mum was rarely around during the week. always being out the house sometimes before you even woke up having to be somewhere for a meeting.

but it worked out well as you would be at school, and then after that she would pick you up from school and drive you to football training and sit and watch you flourish in a sport that had quite literally been your entire life.

you still lived in london, but you had moved slightly further from central london from the first home you lived in when you moved to london all those moons ago. still going to all of arsenal's home games at the emirates both men's and women's.

hoping one day that would be you, you on the field playing for your club.

your mum still very much good friends with her teammates she used to play with, most coming around on a weekend to visit when they had the time. but most importantly, ella was around at every chance she could.

you could have sworn at one point she had moved in for a little bit while her boyfriend had been away on a work trip, alessia sometimes wondering when ella was around if she had one child or two.

alessia had a lot of trust in you, she didn't think she had to worry about you being lead down the wrong path.

you were naturally quite clever, your grades in school were very good, your teachers would never really have a bad word to say about you, maybe the fact you were a little chatty in the wrong moments, and you had a good group of friends which alessia had met and there impression to her was good.

but you also had a strong head on your shoulders. you weren't the type to let others tell you what to do.

but with that you were a teenager and your mum should've maybe been a little more tentative in what you did with your spare time.

it was easy to slip things past your mum as for one she wasn't exactly the hardest to convince — something you more often than you would like to admit used to your full advantage.

which is why when you started coming home late, being out every weekend at someone else's house for party's your mum didn't exactly pick up on anything. your mum just thought you were having fun, she trusted you that you knew what was sensible and what wasn't.

but maybe the trust each time you were late home, or came home smelling of alcohol was being stretched further and further like a rubber band to the point where it could break at any point.

which is what lead to the weekend, you were off to another party.

"mum! i'm going out now, i'll see you later" you called out from the hallway as you touched up your hair in the large floor mirror that hung in the hallway.

your mum sat in the living room watching a series on the large tv that took up a large part of the wall, a small glass of white wine in her hand as a small way for the blonde to unwind after a busy week.

"wait, lovie. c'mere!" your mum called out quickly at the sound of the door keys being rattled around. you huffing slightly at you checked the time on your phone before poking your head into the living room.

your mum turning so that she could see you a sad look adorning on your mothers face, "you never said you were going out? i thought you were staying in, we were gonna do a movie night remember?"

you eyebrows knitted together with confusion, ok you may have forgotten to tell your mum your weekend plans but you couldn't just cancel your plans with your friends now, it was too late.

"i- uh. i did i told you in the car on the way back from training on wednesday!" you lied, you were now getting a little impatient as your mum hummed, she still not really remembering if you had or not a lot having happened since wednesday night.

"we can have our movie night another time, i really need to go now. i'll be back later mum" you spoke fast and your mum could sense the urgency that you had to leave.

"right, what time will you be back?" your mum asked, as you thought for a moment not wanting to say to early but also not too late that your mum would complain.

"about eleven maybe" you shrugged, the maybe coming out a little quieter, more of a whisper.

"ok lovie, but no drinking please you have an important match tomorrow, have fun but be-"

"-sensible i know mum! bye i love you" were the last words spoken to your mum as you dashed out the room and the front door before alessia even had a chance to blink.

you managed to make it to the party just on time, it happened to only be a few blocks from your house but you as always you underestimate the time it's going to take for you to get ready.

you got to the party, there being a lot more people than you expected. it taking you a little while longer to locate your friends over the booming noise of the music and the amoung of people inside the house.

but luckily you were able to find your friends, your four friends englufing you in a tight squeeze as they fiilled you in with what you had missed since arriving late.

you loved your friends, you would do anything for them and they had been there since pretty much the beginning and the five of you were pretty much inseparble.

there was emilia who was definetly the most outspoken out the four of you, you not too far second in that race, she would say anything and everything on her mind. but like every teenage girl she had two sides to her lovely and like butter wouldnt melt on the outside but deep inside her she was a total bitch.

there was olivia, she was emilia's ride or die, the two of them knowing each other since preschool and one thing about olivia is she would do anything for emilia even if meant she or others would get hurt in the process.

then there was isabella or bella as everyone called her, she was the newest addition to the friend group havign just transfered schools, but she was too nice for her own good meaning she was a little naive to her surroundings and some peoples meaning.

and finally your best friend poppy, the girl you trusted with your entire life - quite literally. the two of you had been joined to the hip since your first day at school, clicking instantly. you considered the girl as a sister. alessia always thinking you and poppy reminded her a lot of her and ella when they were younger.

once you had caught up with your friends the night went on you were just enjoying socialising, you always up for meeting new people although it was a little hard in a dimly lit room and blaring music over the top.

"what you drinking tonight then russo?" emilia asked you with a dopey smile, a red solo cup in her hand as she slouched next to you on the couch. you were most definitely the only one there that was still sober.

"just sprite" you shrugged, holding you cup up as emilia let out a little laugh.

"why you being boring russo, just have a drink let your hair down" emilia giggled as she began to sway slightly from side to side with the music but she definitely wasn't in time with the beat like she thought she was.

you shook your head, "i can't, i have a match in the morning and i promised my mum-"

"oh why are you so bothered about all that stupid football jazz. your never gonna make it pro, you would have already! just face it your never gonna be the big name your mum was!" emilia slurred so casually, the words just rolling off her tongue like she was just repeating words she had rehearsed for days.

emilia was off squealing at some boy as she dragged him to dance with her all before you could even process what she'd said. your body just slumping into its self.

"you okay?" a voice said over the beat of the loud music which felt even louder now, your ears ringing. you looked up, your eyes slightly watered as you nodded. it was just poppy.

"yep” you popped your lip looking at the floor before turning to look at your best friend, “can you get me a drink?" you looked up hopeful, as poppy looked at you with knitted eyebrows, confusion filled her face. you didn’t drink.

"what? another sprite?" she asked as you quickly shook your head, "no, something else, vodka? anything. just make it strong?"

"are you sure your okay?" poppy asked again, it was unusual for you to drink never mind ask for a strong drink. your best friend beginning to be slightly worried about the sudden change in your behaviour as you sighed frustratedly.

"yes! just get me the fucking drink poppy!" you snapped as poppy quickly left her red solo cup next to you, mumbling she would be a few minutes.

and to your luck, she was back a few minutes later a red solo cup in her hand, handing it to you. a clear liquid in the cup as you peered into the cup.

"it's straight vod-"

you didn't bother listening to what poppy had to say, instead chugging the vodka. the feeling of the burning down your throat, the same feeling hitting your stomach as when emilia said those words to you.

but right now you wanted to forget that, forget everything, you wanted your mind to be clear, just like the colour of the liquid your just downed.

you felt your head begin to get lighter with each drink you had, before you were starting to not even be able to walk straight never mind put a sentence together.

the night just flushing into a blur, as for the first time you felt free. like nothing mattered. nobody knew your name or used you for your last name. you were just y/n.

lovie🩷 -> hey alessia, it's poppy, y/n's in quite a state and she was about to start walking home by herself but i don't think that's a good idea so my mum is going to drop her home when she picks me up.

mumma🤍 -> hi poppy, is she okay? did something happen?

lovie🩷 -> she's conscious but i don't think she knows what's going on, she had quite a few drinks. i'm not sure what happened one minute she was smiling the next she had a face like thunder.

mumma🤍 -> not to worry poppy, i'll talk to her in the morning. thank you for looking out for her.

"lovie?" alessia looked in shock horror at the state you were in, slightly embarrassed as she looked up thanking poppy as well as flashing a thankful smile towards her mum who was behind the driving wheel and had so kindly brought you home.

“sorry she’s in such a state, i did try and get her to slow down after the first one but she just ignored me” poppy apologised with a wince as alessia nodded with a sigh, your stubborn side which you definitely didn’t get from the blonde.

“it’s okay, i’m not angry. just a little disappointed but thank you for looking out for y/n, your a good friend to her — even when sometimes she may not deserve it” alessia slightly laughed at the little bit knowing poppy had put up with you since your first day of school and knowing you can be difficult at time especially with the strong head on your shoulder.

alessia said her goodbyes to poppy again waving to her mum as she drove down the street, turning to you with a sigh as you leant against your mum and the doorframe.

“c’mon then lovie” alessia began to move you away from the doorway as you held a dopey smile on your face. rambling out some words that alessia was convinced were not english.

"hey, only my mum calls me that-" you slurred out quietly as your eyes began to shut. a big sigh coming from alessia as she called out to ella who was in the living room.

"woah- where has she been?" ella winced as she took in your form as you were slumped up against your mum, alessia shrugging.

"i need to get her to eat something, and a bottle of water" alessia told ella as she nodded in agreement helping alessia get you into the living room at least.

you were carried to the living room by both your mum and ella, the two placing you down as you sighed contently at the feeling of the soft lounge. your body drifting in and out of sleep as each minute passed.

“i’m just gonna make her a sandwich” alessia whispered as ella nodded, staying sat beside you. “yeah i’ll stay here”

a small giggle came from you out of nowhere as you head drooped to one side of the head rest on the couch, “you sound just like my auntie ella, she has a proper thick manchester accent”

ella just sat and listened as you continued your slurred ramble, a smile creeping in her face as you spoke about ella and your mum. clearly not being with it enough to know that’s currently who you’re in a room with.

“she’s pretty cool, she was an awesome footballer too. just like my mum” a sad lopsided smile crept on your face as tears slightly built in your eyes. an eyebrow rising at your words from the brunette sat beside you as she hummed.

“my mum was an amazing footballer, my dream is always to be even half the player she is-“ a sniffle came from you as if you were about to start crying, ella patting your shoulder.

“i’m sure you’ll carry on her legacy” ella smiled at you, but as you were squinting to see if you could recognise who your were talking to but you couldn’t really make out the facial features. it all just being blurs of colours.

a yelp came from you as you screwed your eyes shut, startling ella a little as she looked at you with panic in her eyes, “oh my god, my mum gonna be so annoyed at me” you covered your face with your hands.

at this point alessia was coming back into the room, a bottle of ice cold water and your favourite type of sandwich made in her hand. the blonde about to open her mouth to say something but ella waved at her not to say anything to allow you the chance to carry on your drunken confession.

“but, the drinks just looked too good and it helped i forgot about what she said” you mumbled as you carried on talking with your hands over your face. ella and alessia looking at each other with blank faces trying to figure out what you were saying.

“i felt free like i was floating on fluffy clouds- oh is this sandwich for me?” you spotted the food on the plate on the coffee table out the corner of you eye.

“yeah eat it lovie, and there’s some water there too” alessia pointed as you hummed tucking into the sandwich still not aware of your surroundings and the fact you were in your living room at home.

alessia tapping ella on the shoulder and letting the brunette know that she was gonna get your bed ready and get you some pjs out so you could change. ella just waved the blonde off letting her do her thing of what she needed to do.

after around an hour later and the two finally got you to bed, after a few little mishaps like you tripping up the stairs and you falling asleep with your toothbrush in your mouth as you brushed your teeth in the bathroom.

but finally the two had gotten you into bed and safely asleep, alessia’s head spinning. why had you gone out and got basically black out drunk, the night before an important match. there had to be a reason. this wasn’t like you.

"oh god" alessia let out a shaky breath as she lent over the kitchen counter her head in her hands. mum guilt washing over her.

"she'll be fine less, she's a teenager. this is what they do. we were once like that too-" ella tried to help comfort her best friend with a light hearted joke towards their past of them being teenagers. it not being too dissimilar.

"yeah but tooney, this isn't the first time this has happened." alessia sighed looking up at the brunette who was stood in the dimly lit kitchen.

"this is becoming every weekend and i thought maybe when she came back late smelling of alcohol the first time, it would be the last but it's happened nearly every single time since" alessia explained as tooney's face turned into a small frown, she didn't realise that wasn't the first time.

"i thought i could trust her, ella" alessia whispered, ella knew the blonde was being serious that's the only time alessia would call her best friend by her proper name. a worried look was etched across the blondes face.

"you can less, tiny is a smart kid" ella nodded pulling the blonde into a side hug as alessia whispered, "i hope your right."

the next morning had rolled around and you woke up with the biggest head ache and no recollection of the events that happened last night, the last thing you remember was your conversation with poppy.

anything else after that, you had no idea. hell you didn't even know how you got home or when-

not even realising you were home until your eyes scanned around the dimly lit room, noticing the framed photos you had from football. some with your teammates, your family, and some with some of the lionesses past and present you'd met.

a tight knot building in your stomach as you looked at it a little longer, the words lingering in your head of what your friend had said to you.

huffing you didn't want to look at the photos any longer, you pushed your covers off you and walking your way down the stairs. the bright light of the sun shining through the windows hurting your eyes as you made you way into the kitchen not even realising your mum was stood waiting for her coffee machine to finish.

"morning- why are you not ready? we have to leave in fifteen minutes?" your mum asked as you turned grabbed a glass from the shelf filling it with ice cold water.

you ignored the question your mum was sending your way instead reaching out for the cupboard in which you knew your mum kept the medicine — rummaging through the box until you found something that would help sootheyour seething headache.

"lovie? i'm asking you a question" you mum pushed but still was talking in a soft voice. you shrugged, "don't wanna go" you mumbled as you took the time to take the medicine before placing your glass in the sink.

your mum was taken back by your response, you never missed football. not matches. not training. hell you'd even beg your mum to let you play even if your leg was hanging off. football is everything to you — or so she thought.

"why?"

"not feeling too well-" you began but were cut off by your mum, "the one thing i asked you not to do was drink and you knew you had this match this morning which you know is important-"

alessia started her rant but you just sighed and walked out the room heading towards your room. your mum realising you weren't in the room any longer, following your tracks towards your room. "y/n, i'm not finished talking-"

"yeah well i am, just leave me be mum! i don't want to go to the stupid football match okay, i quit!" you snapped as you yelled from your bedroom door slamming it shut. alessia stopping in her track, your words hitting her right in the chest, as the slam of the door echoed in the hallway.

stupid football? that wasn't the lovie alessia knew.

the lovie, alessia knew was football crazy and since she could walk had a ball at her feet.

the lovie alessia knew would spend hours in the garden trying to perfect a skill even if it was pouring of rain.

the lovie alessia knew would have to be practically dragged of the pitch and away from the football after training otherwise you would spent all night there.

the lovie alessia knew, loved football and wanted to play for her club and country.

alessia didn't understand what had happened, yeah your behaviour at the minute hadn't exactly been perfect and the blonde would be lying if she said she wasn't loosing a little bit trust in you with each time you came home late.

your actions speaking louder that maybe what you were doing in your spare time wasn’t as innocent as you tried to perceive it as. your show last night was the real eye opener for alessia.

she slumped down on the stairs as she let out a breathe. she didn't know what to do or even say.

the blonde was brought out of her thoughts at the sound of knocks echoing through the hallway. alessia pushed her self up from her seat on the stairs making her way to the door and pulling it open.

"ay we ready! where's our superstar?" ella called out as she walked in not catching the gloomy look on her best friends face at the side of the door as leah walked in behind her just as excited as the two began to recite your chant.

the two were dressed head to two in the colours you wore, ella minus the arsenal jersey. but leah was decked to the nines in gunner merch.

ella and leah made it to nearly every one of your matches, ella of course didn't make it to as many as she lived in manchester but any matches you had close to there or any time ella was in london she made sure to be at your matches with alessia.

leah on the other hand would be lucky if she missed one match a season, she always made sure to be there. leah had a close connection with the academy it being one she spent the first years of her footballing years too.

"oh- what's happened?" ella smile dropping as she looked at the sad look on alessia's face, leahs head turning around as her smile too dropped. the vibe going completely flat.

"it's lovie, she's quit football-" alessia said quitely, so quiet it almost came out as a whisper, as she walked past the two going to sit on the couch in the living room, ella and leah following alessia like lost puppy's as they came to terms which what the blonde had just said.

"what do you mean she's quit?" leah asked sitting down and taking the arsenal scarf from around her neck, it being quite warm in the room. alessia just shrugged she didnt know what the cause of you sudden outburst was, but what she did know is that something had caused it or rather someone.

ella coming and sitting next to the alessia as a sigh came from her, "she can't just quit- tiny is the future of football.."

"well she came down, i asked why she wasn't ready and she said she wasn't feeling well and then i followed her cause she walked away while i was still talking and then bascially yelled in my face that football is stupid" alessia sighed putting her head in her hands, ella running a soothing hand up and down the blonde's back.

"stupid football, that does not sound like tiny at all" leah was in disbelief, the girl she was hearing about was not the tiny that they knew and loved.

"tell me about it"

"have you tried asking her about it" ella suggested, it seeming like a silly thing to ask as she thought that alessia would ahve probably done that first but it was always worth a suggestion.

a shake of the head came from alessia, "no thought i'd give her a chance to cool off first"

"good thinking less, but it's worth a try even though she may not say anything. try and see if you can get something out of her" leah gave a sad smile to alessia who nodded taking the much needed advice on board.

the three sat a little more trying to get to the bottom of why you were acting a little weird and why you suddenly after bascially dedicating your entire life to football wanted to quit.

"but you know tiny too, more than we do, thats she capable of changing her mind more times than the weather" ella jokes as both leah and alessia let out a small chuckle. she wasnt wrong, you were known to be very indecisive.

"well we'll be off, let us know what happens and if you need anything" leah slaps her hands off her knees standing up, ella nodding and agreeing with leahs words.

"i will, i'll keep you both updated" alessia gave a half smile as she held the front door open, for the two to leave as they left still dressed in their football attire. leaving a little less excited then when they arrived.

alessia waving the two goodbye as leah drove away, the blonde shutting her door as she lingered in the hallway glancing up the stairway. planning her next movements.

make you some lunch as you hadn't eaten yet and the blonde knew better than to try and talk to you empty handed.

"just me.." your mum whispered as she lightly knocked on your door, "i brought your favourite- cheese toastie" as she put the plate on your bedside table not a mutter of a word from you as your mum walked through your room.

you just lay still in your bed, blankets wrapped around you as you held your little esme the elephant. yes the same one you'd had since you were little, it all worn with there being a little tear in the ear.

your mum sighed as she sat at the end of your bed, "how you feeling now?" she cooed as you still remained in the same place staring at the wall, the only thing to be heard was your light breathing.

alessia felt as though she'd hit a brick wall. her brain trying to think of things that may get you to talk to her but ultimitately she knew it would be a long shot. you and your stubborness. something you defiently didn't get from the blonde.

"you can't ignore me forever, lovie" alessia joked lightly hoping it may help to lighten the tense atmosphere inside your room, you glancing over at your mum perched on the end of your bed.

"i can try" you mumbled if the room hadn't of been as silent as it was alessia would have most definetly missed what you said.

a hum coming from your mum, "you can try but then who knows that you don't like blueberries cause you don't like the way they feel in your mouth, or that when your anxious about something that you bite the inside of your lip, or that you like having ketchup with almost ever meal-" alessia trailed off as you perked one eyebrow up turning onto your back.

"i'm sure i'd find a way to survive" you mumbled as your mum nodded her head slowly, humming a little at your words.

"what's happened lovie? why do you all of a sudden want to quit football" your mum asked as you moved your head slightly to the side, you knew this was coming. you just didn't think you were ready to admit out loud why you wanted to stop playing.

"just do, 'm not gonna make it anywhere anyway.." you whispered your throat going slightly tight as the words left your lips. alessia felt her heart tighten a little at your confession.

"lovie, you don't seriously believe that do you?" alessia asked a little bit of seriousness in her tone of voice, a part of her thinking maybe these weren't your words, but rather someone elses.

"and what if i do-"

"has someone said something to you lovie?" your mum has this gut feeling in her stomach and her gut was rarely ever wrong, it was if it was her sixth sense. "like did something happen at the party you were at?" your mum continued to push for an answer as you lay still with you eyes facing away from your mum, worried that if you did look at her that the tears would start to fall.

you stayed silent for a moment, contemplating your next move. before slowly moving your eyes to make contact with your mums as you bit your lip. another few seconds passed before you nodded your head to your mum previous question.

"oh lovie" your mum pouted as she crumbled moving from her seat at the end of the bed to quickly engulf you in a much needed hug as the tears began to fall. your mum comforting you as you cried in her arms letting it all out as you began to relay the events of what happened at the party, what emilia said to you and then how you just began to drink to get rid of the pain.

alessia's heart breaking for you, being told such harsh words from someone you considered to be a very close friend. it wasn't fair and the world was a cruel place. your mum wishing she could wrap you up in bubble wrap and protect you from anything you came in front of.

"she doesn't deserve to have you as a friend and you don't need people like that in your life lovie. thats not what a true friend does-" your mum comforted you as a few stray sniffles came from you as you knew what your mum was telling you was right. emilia didn't deserve to call you her friend.

"and anyways she won't be saying that when your on the big stage, playing for your club and country!" your mum smiled softly as your furrowed your eyebrows. "you really think that'll happen-"

"of course! you could play rings around some players you come against" you stayed in your mums arms a little more as she continued to comfort you as she continued to build your confidence and ego back up that clearly had took some serious damage.

"you'll always be my favourite player, y/n russo." your mum smiled sweetly at you as she placed a kiss to your forehead. you knew the topic of your recent behaviour and how you spent your spare time would come up and alessia definitely knew she needed to have a chat with you about that but right now you needed love and comfort which is exactly what you got as you sunk into her warm and loving arms further.

[oddinary4bts]

When the End Comes | ch 4 (jjk)

☆summary: Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

☆pairing: photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in every chapter)

☆genre: breakup!au, slice of life!au, angst with a big A, smut

☆warnings: fear of getting stood up, alcohol, pet names, curses, Jungkook's scars, angst, stubborn Jungkook, pessimism, depressive episode, cliffhanger at the end I'm sorry, explicit content: jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), Jungkook taking pictures of them during (I apologize, I have sinned), balls sucking/fondling, pain kink (Jungkook), deep throating, mouth fucking, unprotected sex, hickey, clit play, degradation, fingering, cum play (ish?)

☆word count: 14.3k

☆series masterpost

☆a/n: Rereading each chapter to edit is a challenge bc I just be sobbing the whole time :') I hope you enjoy this one, though it does really hurt oop

☆a/n pt2: Thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing this, you are the best <3 and thank you to @jessikahathaway for supporting me with this project, you are amazinnng

☆Read The Forgotten Spaces here, the prequel to When the End Comes! It does not need to be read to understand When the End Comes, but I think it still should be read first to have a better understanding of the characters in general!

☆Add yourself to the taglist here (if you were on the taglist for The Forgotten Spaces, you're already on the taglist for When the End Comes!)

☆☆☆☆☆

But love never leaves a heart, where it found it, found it You found it Someday, I'll fall into you That's where I'll be now when the end comes

When the End Comes, Andrew Belle

☆☆☆☆☆

Friday, September 8th

                You clutch the gift bag in your hand. It feels strange to be meeting Jungkook again, after last weekend. And even after last weekend, you’re not sure where you’re standing.

Did he spend his whole week thinking about you the way that you were thinking about him?

You texted a little, over the week. Each time a notification from him popped up on your phone, you felt like you’d gone back in time. Like maybe, maybe you took a time machine to a past of better days last weekend. It’s bittersweet in a way, because you feel like there is still so much left unsaid between you and him.

But he’s willing to try. Even if you broke him, even if you’ve been wondering if there’s anything salvageable after all, he’s willing to try. Willing to meet you at a Korean barbecue restaurant halfway between his place and yours.

You check the time, anxiety flooding your veins. He’s running late, though he texted you to tell you he was almost there. A part of you wonders if he’s going to stand you up – you think you’d deserve it. Because you’re not sure you deserve this chance, yet you don’t want to lose it, don’t want to let it go.

You look down at the bag. You bought the gift on a whim this week, and you have no idea if he’ll still want it. It’s a lens he was looking to buy months ago, before he left for Paris, and there’s a high chance that he’ll have bought it for himself since then…

You just couldn’t think about anything other than that to gift him. Even though his work was your demise, you know Jungkook loves photography. Always will, no matter where you two will end up. And since it was his birthday last weekend – before you’d reconnected – you thought why not? Why not get a gift and show him that you still care, that you remember?

Because you’d never forget, when it comes to him. You think, if you had dementia, he’d be the last thing you’d lose, if at all.

You worry at your lip, glancing around. Luckily enough for you, there is a bench outside of the restaurant, though you can only sit on a corner of it as the rest is still wet from the rain earlier. It was raining when you left work, but it fortunately stopped as you were getting ready for the date.

You sigh, looking down at your phone again. Twenty minutes late seems like a long time, considering that Jungkook’s not one to be late usually. A sense of dread takes ahold of your heart, and you already feel tears forming in your eyes.

You were foolish, stupid. Idiotic, if you thought there was a way things could be set right.

You get up, looking towards the door of the restaurant. A couple are waiting in the hall, arms around each other as they hug with not a care in the world. It aches deeply, makes you crave the physical intimacy last Saturday held and you gulp as you swallow around the lump in your throat.

Still you stay rooted in your spot. There’s a light tremor that starts taking a hold of you, and you regret not putting a jacket on even though it isn’t remotely freezing today. Your eyes fall to the gift bag, and you think about May. About the moment you’d let him go – has he gotten too far for you to reach him now?

A tear wins. Or perhaps it’s the gravity, growing ten times stronger as your heart breaks again. As the hope gets lost to you, replaced by that same deep sorrow you’ve become accustomed to. You sigh, the breath of air trembling on the way out.

And then you almost let out a scream as someone touches your arm.

Jungkook startles just as much as you, taking a step back, his big, doe eyes widening even more as he meets your gaze. Your mouth remains open, yet no words come out. You just take him in, take his appearance in – his piercings, the beanie he’s wearing, his flushed cheeks. He looks like he was running, and you think maybe he was.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you.

At that your eyes drop to the bright pink bouquet of flowers he’s holding, and something inside of you heals, as if you’ve found a cure to the disease.

“Oh, Jungkook,” you let out. You meet his gaze again. “You didn’t have to.”

He pulls at his piercings, shrugging sheepishly. “I wanted to.”

It’s warm. Whatever is blossoming in your chest is warm, a stark contrast to the winter you’ve been stuck in since the night you lost him.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and you blink away the tears in your eyes.

You freeze when he wipes the one that’s already rolled on your cheek, frowning slightly at the sight.

“The florist I wanted to go to first was closed,” he says as an explanation. “I had to run around to find another one.”

You offer him a small smile, and his features immediately smooth out into a soft expression too.

“I was scared you were…” you trail off, wetting your lips as you refuse to voice your fear.

Refuse to admit you didn’t have faith in him.

“I thought you would,” he answers carefully. “Hence why I ran.”

You nod. “I…” You look down at the gift bag, holding it up. “I got you a birthday gift.”

His smile is teary when you look at it next, and you take a moment to delve into the depths of his gaze. There’s a small twinkle there, though it is faint, barely even noticeable. If you didn’t know him like the sun knows the moon, you wouldn’t recognize it.

He’s hopeful. It’s strange – there was no hope in Jungkook’s gaze last weekend. Or there had been, for a fraction of a moment, until it had been blown away by the wind. You can only hope that this time it will hold on strong.

“You didn’t have to,” he says, though the curve of his pink lips tells you he appreciates the thought.

He grabs the gift bag, not looking through it right away. Instead, he hands you the flowers, and you delicately take them, bringing them close to your nose so that you can inhale the fragrance. Your eyelids flutter shut, and a content smile moves on your lips.

“Thank you,” you murmur as you meet his gaze again. “And…” You motion towards the gift. “You deserved it. I think you’ll like it.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, as Jungkook looks down at the bag. He offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you cock an eyebrow.

“What?” he lets out.

“Aren’t you going to…” you vaguely answer. “Open it?”

“Oh, now?” He chuckles awkwardly, glancing around before pointing towards the restaurant. “Shouldn’t we go in to give our names?”

He’s got a point. Especially considering that it’s a Friday evening. So you do just that, giving your phone number to the hostess as she tells you there will be a thirty minutes wait. You and Jungkook move back outside after that, and he guides you towards his car, a few streets down.

“How was work this week?” he asks on the way.

“Better,” you admit, remembering how you’d told him that you didn’t like the new department in which you worked.

And it’s true – it has been better. Maybe because the excitement of receiving texts from him through the days made it easier to handle. Or maybe it’s because you haven’t been so damned cold since last weekend. All in all, work has been easier, even if it isn’t as interesting as it used to be.

“I’m glad,” he says, offering you a smile.

Silence surrounds the two of you, only interrupted by a car honking in the street. You startle a little, and Jungkook chuckles.

You’re struck. His chuckles have healing properties, you’re convinced of it. They spark hope into you, so bright you think you’ll be blinded, retina forever burned. Yet your eyes don’t lose focus on him, even as his lips return to a neutral expression.

“What about you?” you ask as your heart picks up in your chest. “What were you up to this week?”

A small crease appears between his brows, but it disappears so quickly you think you might have imagined it. “I’ve been going to the gym,” he answers. “And looking around for some jobs.”

His last sentence turns the hope into a firework show inside of you. “Yeah? Any luck so far?”

You reach his car, and as he always does, he opens the door for you. You blush, something you haven’t really done with Jungkook in forever, and you’re struck thinking that this feels new.

Perhaps this will be a new chapter in your relationship with Jeon Jungkook after all.

“Thank you,” you mutter as your cheeks burn. You sit in, and he closes the door before moving around the car to get in. You watch him do so, and he sits next to you, turning the car on just long enough so that you can roll the windows down.

“Now,” he lets out, eyeing the bag. “What’s this?”

For some reason, it makes you chuckle, and he shoots you a dumb smile that makes you think you’ve delved right into the heat of summer, warmth spreading through you. It erases the winter, replaces it with blooming flowers and bright sun rays, golden sunsets and the feeling of a soft breeze threading through your hair.

Needless to say, you want to cling to it before winter comes again.

“Open and you’ll see,” you answer, your heart racing as you glance at the bag, before going back to his smile.

He nods, and he opens the bag, taking out the paper first. Your heartbeat increases tenfold because, what if he doesn’t like it?

What if he takes it as an affront that you’ve given him something photography related?

But then he sees it. Sees the lens you bought for him, and his features turn somber, but not in a bad way. They settle into a calm expression, with a softer smile that barely even tugs at the corners of his lips. He takes a deep breath, and then looks towards you again.

Teary eyes find yours, and you think maybe this is it. Maybe this is where the end will find you. Lost in the swirling depth of his gaze, in the forgotten space of you and him.

He whispers your name, emotion making it heavier than the whole world. You nod once, as no sentences take shape in your mind to reply to him. You’re not sure you have to say something – he sees in your eyes the emotions you can’t quite voice.

“You really didn’t have to,” he adds, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps. “Fuck.”

He looks down at the lens, takes it out of the bag so that he can examine it thoroughly. You observe him as he does so, as if you’re watching a show. And you think, maybe he is a show – a movie meant for you to admire on and on until you go old and blindness seeps into your gaze.

“I wanted to,” you reply.

He shoots you a quick look, just as teary as the initial one. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

And then he laughs, a small vulnerable laugh that has you blinking back the wetness building up on your waterline. You echo it with one of yours, though it comes unexpectedly to you. But then again, you reckon you share the same feelings.

You always have, haven’t you? Your soul is in sync with his, has always been, no matter if distance put an end to the story of you and him. Or tried to, because he’s here today.

So are you, and if he allows it, you’ll never leave again.

“I’ve wanted this lens in forever,” he says, voice small as he turns it in his hands, looking at it in every possible angle. “You…” he trails off, meets your gaze and smiles again. “You remembered.”

You nod. “How could I forget?” You worry at your lips, shy away from his gaze to watch your wriggling fingers in your lap. “There isn’t a day I didn’t think of you.”

The revelation seems out of place, in a parked car on the side of a busy street. Yet it comes naturally to you, and meets him just as naturally. Because he nods, and then reaches for you. Grabs your jaw, gently, so that he can turn your head towards him. There’s a moment when you think the whole world holds his breath, and then he leans forward, brushes a soft kiss on your lips.

“I missed you,” he admits as he pulls away, letting go of your jaw reluctantly.

A tear slips on your cheek, and you quickly dry it. “I missed you too.”

And though the moment is heavy with emotion, you don’t want to run away from it. When you were younger, you would have fled like a deer hearing a branch crack in the woods. But today, today you want the weight of this emotion to rest upon you, like a weighted blanket that reminds you you’re alive.

The emotion lingers, past this moment and into the next. As you get the text that a table is ready for you and him, and you move back to the Korean restaurant. As you sit in front of him, watch him smile and laugh in time with you at the stupid jokes that you make.

You and him make more sense than you realized. Or maybe you forgot. Maybe the distance made you forget, but right now you think you know he’ll always be the one. And if you lose him again, he’ll be the one that got away, and you’ll search for him through every connection with temporary people.

Because there can’t be permanent people after him. He’s permanently inked into your heart, carved into your bones.

“How has your family been?” he asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.

You offer him a tight-lipped smile, though you know he means your father, Isabel and Louis.

You know he’d never talk about your mother as part of your family.

“They’ve been great,” you answer. “Dad’s been looking to retire, or at least to have a lesser charge at work.”

Jungkook furrows his brows, but says nothing as he puts some meat on the grill between you and him. You observe him as he does so, wincing when flames erupt and he pulls his hand away – quickly enough, thankfully.

“How old is he again?” Jungkook asks after that, meeting your gaze again.

“Fifty-nine,” you reply. “But I don’t think it’s about his age. He just wants to spend more time with Louis.”

The softness that takes over his doe eyes makes you want to curl up in him, against him. Makes you want to listen to his beating heart until the day that it ceases, decades away from now. It’s a strong feeling, and you’re forced to blink away tears again.

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook gently says, and he reaches to pat your cheek.

It makes you laugh. Of course it does, and he offers you a dumb smile again. For the first time that night, you notice that yes, it does reach his eyes. The smile lights up his gaze, though there’s wariness, etched in the lines of his face.

It’s not that you missed it before. Maybe you just didn’t want to see it. But right in this instant, it’s all you can see, and it makes his smile fall until his eyes follow, moving to the grill. He turns the meat as you busy yourself with eating japchae.

And you don’t like this silence. You don’t like the ache that it carries, so you force yourself to try. To try and fight for him and prove that, after everything, he really is where the end will be, when it comes for you.

“What about your family?” you ask, throwing him a lifeline in the storm you’re sure he’s been plagued with too.

“They’ve been great,” he answers. “My brother’s wife is pregnant again.”

For a moment you forget about the torment between you and him as your mind zeroes in on the fact. “That’s amazing!” you let out, and your smile comes easily. “They must be so happy.”

Jungkook looks at your smile, taking a deep breath. It seems he takes a decision then, because his lips curve up, and some of the wariness fades away. He looks softer like this, younger, and your heart shines under his light.

“It really is,” he says. “I was thinking on going to Korea to see the baby when Yuri gives birth.”

In another world, you would have said you’ll go with him, but right now you don’t think you can. So, instead, you reply, “That’s a good idea. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you.”

He nods, and then he puts some meat in your bowl, taking the two other stripes for himself. You mindlessly pick one of the pieces up, mixing it in ssamjang before eating it. You wince as you burn your tongue a little, and quickly eat the meat so that you can take a long gulp of water.

Jungkook must have expected you to burn yourself, because he laughs at your expense as he refills your glass. “You good?”

You nod. “Sorry, just burned myself.”

“Don’t apologize.”

So you don’t. For the rest of the evening, you try not to apologize. And you think you succeed – you both speak as if distance wasn’t a thing between you. As if time hasn’t come to pass between you too – as if you’ve never been apart. As if, seven years ago, the stars told the truth as they sparkled in the July night sky.

You finish eating while chatting like this, while sharing thoughts about movies you’ve seen. As he tells you about working out, about Bam and the songs he’s been listening to. He drinks a beer as you speak, and you once again take a moment to admire him.

You’d never admit it, but the beanie makes him look good. Comfortable and soft – as does the jean jacket, you reckon. But then again you know Jungkook would look good in anything, one of the advantages of him being gifted with pretty privilege.

And when he clinks his glass with yours, claiming you have to finish drinking even though you’ve only been drinking water, you still laugh with him, still down your glass as he chugs the beer. And you wonder, how long will it take to erase the distance?

Will it take more than this moment in time, to undo the distance and rebuild the closeness?

And you think, maybe it just needs now. Because as you walk out, bellies full and minds buzzing with a slight tinge of alcohol, you accept Jungkook’s extended hand. You let him guide you to his car, even though yours is parked on the other side of the restaurant. He opens the door for you again, but you hesitate for a moment.

Long enough to step closer to him instead, and pull him down so you can peck his lips. He looks surprised, and his features fall serious as you share a long look.

“Can I come over tonight?” you whisper.

He nods. “I thought it was a given.”

Of course he would. And you’re not even mad that he would. You’re rather relieved, and you can’t help yourself. You can’t help pulling him down in a more heated kiss, even though you hate public displays of affection. There are just words your lips can’t say any other way than this, and he gets it. He’ll always get you. He always will, and he kisses you with the same intensity, one hand cupping your cheek gently while the other presses on the small of your back, resting flat as he pulls you in. You hold his delicate waist, sighing in the kiss as your thumbs draw idle lines on his sides.

Jungkook pulls away to press a kiss on your forehead, lingering there for a small eternity that leads to you wrapping your arms around his waist. He lets you do it, and you wonder if his soul has found yours. You hope it has, for there are things your soul can say even better than your mouth can.

Apologies don’t mean much when they are shaped in words. But you think your soul could show him, and maybe, maybe tonight he’ll allow you to show him.

“Are you parked somewhere you can leave your car overnight?” he asks softly, lips moving against your forehead.

You nod. “I am.”

“Then let’s go home.”

*****

                It comes as a surprise, when you realize Jungkook has moved in the same building as Kiko and Yoongi. Even more so as they run into you on the way in, knowing smiles on their lips as Jungkook holds your hand tight. They don’t really say a lot – both of them aren’t man and woman of words, except when they pour them into the lyrics of a song.

But Kiko does hug you. Does whisper in your ear that she wishes everything will be set right for the two of you, and when you pull away to meet Jungkook’s gaze, you think it already is. Especially as you’re clutching the flowers he got for you, and their sweet fragrance surrounds you.

And then they walk away, as they were leaving to go on a late walk, and you and Jungkook walk in the building, making your way to the elevator. Jungkook presses the call button, and then pulls you close to his chest so that he can press a kiss on the top of your head.

“Well, that was awkward,” he says.

You chuckle. “It wasn’t really.”

His grip tightens around you before he lets you go so that you can enter the elevator. He follows you in, and he intertwines your fingers as he presses on the fourth floor. As the elevator starts moving, you pull him closer, tilting your head back as you pout slightly.

“What?” he asks.

“Kiss me?”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He immediately dives in, and you’re surprised with the strength of the kiss. As if he’s pouring his entire soul in it, and you think maybe he is. After all, you kiss him back with all the fire in you, and it’s burning brighter than it ever has.

Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived as you reach his floor and the doors slide open. He pulls away, presses a kiss on your forehead as if he wasn’t sucking on your tongue a moment ago, and then he pulls you behind him as he walks towards his door.

It’s further down the hall, and you wait excitedly as he unlocks. Though you’re a little worried about seeing Bam again – what if he doesn’t recognize you?

Which, you reckon was a stupid thought, because the dog comes barging out, tail wagging wildly, when Jungkook manages to get the door open.

“Bamie!” you exclaim, and Jungkook carefully takes the bouquet of flowers from your hand to allow you to bend down and pet the dog.

He licks at your face, whimpering as if he thought he’d lost you. It brings tears to your eyes, and you giggle like a kid as you pet him, rubbing his short fur as he keeps running all around you.

“I think he’s happy to see you,” Jungkook deadpans, and you burst out laughing.

You look up to try and look at Jungkook, but Bam jumps in your vision, which makes you giggle again. And then, something magical happens. Something you didn’t think you’d hear again – Jungkook laughs that childish laugh of his, the one that usually only comes forth when he’s really happy.

You act by pure instinct. You stand up, wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck. His giggle dies against your lips, but he’s quick to kiss you back as he snakes his inked arm around your back. You let out a breathy sound, and then burst into a fit of giggles as Bam jumps on you.

“I think he demands attention,” you state and Jungkook nods as you part, though he keeps his arm close to you.

“We should take him on a walk,” he says, and you notice his cheeks are flushed red. You reckon yours probably are too, but there’s something about seeing the effect that you have on him, even after everything, that makes you come undone.

“I’m so happy to be with you right now,” you murmur.

He gulps, eyes shining suddenly. “Me too.” He adds your name softly, before repeating, “Me too.”

You walk in his apartment after that, to put the flowers in a large glass of water since Jungkook doesn’t own any vase. Meanwhile, he disappears in what you assume is the bedroom, only to reappear with his camera. To your surprise, he’s already fitted the new lens on it.

It’s endearing. There’s something so incredibly endearing at the thought that your gift is loved already, that Jungkook already wants to use it. It makes a line of silver appear in your eyes, and you don’t even blink it away as Jungkook angles the camera towards you to take a picture.

“Huh,” he lets out as he looks at the picture. He adjusts some settings, and before he’s had time to take another picture of you, Bam comes up to you, jumping up. His two paws rest on your waist as you laugh, and that’s when Jungkook snaps the picture.

You glance his way to see him smiling softly, and then he nods appreciatively. “I’m going to use this lens way too much,” he comments.

It makes you laugh. “I’m glad.”

And then you’re going outside with the dog. Jungkook brings the camera, and he snaps pictures of the surroundings, of you and Bam. He even takes one of the three of you, though you reckon the angle is clearly unflattering.

It doesn’t feel like it matters. Because you’re struck realizing that this, this moment matters. It matters enough for him to want to commit it to memory, and you wonder if he’s going to add it to all the frames you left behind.

But then again, did he even put them up in his new apartment? From what you could see when you were in, there was no picture visible.

It aches, but then he tells you to smile and you do. You immediately do, because there’s nothing easier than smiling when you’re with him like this. The wariness still clings to him, but it’s barely visible, like a mirage that’s about to fade in the distance.

“Stop taking pictures of me,” you say as he takes another one.

He lets out a noncommittal sound, shrugging his shoulder. “Why?”

You pout as blush creeps on your cheek. “You haven’t taken this many pictures of me since… Chicago?”

He shakes his head. “I took more pictures on our first trip to Korea.”

A beautiful trip, where you’d met his family for the first time. You had gotten along with everyone well, even though your Korean was poor. You got better through the years, but you still have a long way before you can speak in Korean without feeling like everyone is going to judge you.

“That’s beside the point,” you mumble. You motion towards Bam, who’s patiently sitting next to you. “I’m pretty sure he’s done.”

Jungkook pouts, and butterflies take flight in your stomach. “Sorry,” he apologizes.

You’re not quite sure why.

“I just…” he adds, and then shadows cloud over his features. They resemble the sorrow that was surrounding him last weekend, and just like that you think summer has ended. “I haven’t used my camera since…”

You don’t need for him to say it, because you know exactly what he was going to say. Still, it hurts, and your gaze drops to the ground.

“Gosh,” you whisper. You let out a strangled sound. “I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything. Just grabs your hand, raising it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“We said we’d try,” he reminds you, or maybe he’s trying to remind himself. “Let’s try. For real. So no more apologies.”

“I feel like you deserve thousands of apologies and more,” you admit.

He kisses your forehead, and it’s against your skin that he whispers, “I just want us to move on from what happened.”

You nod, wrapping an arm around his waist to loosely hug him. Unfortunately, Bam pulls on his leash, and you have to let go of Jungkook far too quickly. Still, you meet his gaze, nodding your head again.

“I want to move on too,” you tell him. “If I could, I’d erase everything but…”

He holds out his hand for you to interlace your fingers with his. “But it’s in the past.”

He’s right, yet you see the wariness. It’s still there, though you think soon the mist will dissipate with the rays of the sun. So you follow him in, let him feed Bam before he shows you around his small apartment. It feels like him, in ways you can’t really describe, and you want to stay. You think, if he’d ask you’d never leave again.

“I like it,” you tell him as he finishes the tour in his bedroom, which is only occupied by an unmade bed with white sheet and a small night table with his pair of glasses on top. You notice the LED lights, and a smile moves to your lips. “Please tell me these still shine purple like they did at the house with the boys.”

Jungkook nods, offering you a grin. “Yeah. I thought it’d be great to have a… reminder of a simpler time.”

He turns them on, and you get it. You get it so much you grab the lapels of his jean jacket, pulling him closer to you. His lips are upon yours in an instant, hungry, insistent, ravishing a kiss that makes you light-headed. Especially as he grabs your face, holds on to it like it’s a life buoy in a storm. The piercings push into your bottom lip, their colder temperature making your tongue dart to them, as if to warm them.

Jungkook groans, and then kicks the door of his bedroom shut. He’s had to stop kissing you for that, but he’s kissing you again half a second later, and it’s even more intense, more desperate.

You let go of his jacket, hands blindly moving to his belt as he pushes his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it, moan lightly when he groans again. You fumble with the buckle, but soon enough you get it undone, and you move on to the button of his jeans.

You just want him. Need to feel his body against you, in you. And clearly he needs the same thing, as he pulls away from the hug to take your shirt off. Right as you get the button undone, and then unzip his jeans. You slip your hand in, letting out a breathy sound as you find him already hard. He sits heavy in your hand, and you squeeze him unabashedly.

“Fuck,” he curses, head thrown back as his eyes close. “Baby.”

The pet name has you drop to your knees, and you pull his pants down just enough for his dick to spring free. He doesn’t try to stop you, and you admire him for a time. Admire the brown base of his tip, the veins that run along his length. A bead of precum appears on his slit as you look, and you’re quick to lick it clean. The salty taste fills your mouth, and you look up at him, to see him watching down on you, strands of hair falling in his eyes where they’ve escaped the confines of his beanie.

“Suck it, mmh?” he says.

You grab him, jerking him off loosely. “Yeah?”

His eyes darken behind the strands of hair. He bites at his piercings, cocking his head to the side. And then he’s glancing away and to your surprise, he asks, “Can I take pictures of you while you suck my dick?”

You swirl your tongue around his tip, and he bucks his hips forward. In answer, you sit back on your heels, looking up at him innocently. “Right now?” He nods. “You want to take pictures of me while I suck your dick?”

“If you want to,” he answers. “If you don’t want to it’s fine.”

You close your lips around his tip, sucking once. “You’ll keep the pictures to yourself?”

You don’t know why you’re agreeing. Only know that the lust in Jungkook’s gaze is making you forget everything about common sense. But then again, you highly doubt that Jungkook would ever do anything to harm you.

Jungkook’s mouth falls open as he was about to answer, but when you take his dick as far as you can, he’s silenced. And he’s hard in your mouth, a rod of steel you’ve missed since last week.

“Yeah,” he finally breathes out.

You sit back on your heels. “Then it’s fine.”

He smirks, nodding his head as he finishes taking off his jeans and underwear. “Wait here.”

You purse your lips as he walks away, and you watch him leaving his room to head to where he left his camera. You patiently wait, feeling shy even though you have nothing to be shy about. This is just Jungkook – it’s not like he hasn’t seen you half-naked and on your knees for him before.

It takes him a moment to come back, but when he does, it’s to sit on bed. He’s still hard, and he leans back on a hand as you move closer.

“If you want me to stop, you tell me, okay?” he gently says as you run a hand along his thighs.

You glance at his scar, the familiar knot of skin giving you more confidence than you expected. “You’re going to jerk off to these pictures, mmh?”             

He gulps, angling his camera towards you as you lean closer to his dick. You lick at it, and the shutter goes off.

It has you dripping in your panties, unexpectedly.

“So what if I do?” he asks as you grab his dick, stroking him.

The question is rhetorical, and your answer is to wrap your lips around his cock as your eyes flutter shut. You swirl your tongue around the tip and hollow your cheeks as you go down. You hold the gag reflex in as he hits the back of your throat, and you can’t help but moan as you hear his camera again.

You flick your tongue at his frenulum on the way out, and then you stroke his dick as you sit back. You move one hand to his balls, squeezing gently before thinking better of it and leaning forward, sucking on one. He grunts, and you keep your eyes locked on the camera as you jerk him off faster.

Another picture added to the list. And you’re dripping wet. Already you want to sink on his dick, want him to be so deep inside of you that you’re just one.

“Kook…” you murmur, and then you’re back to sucking on his dick, though this time you make sure to squeeze his balls too, the way that he likes it. Hard, but not too hard, and you’re choking around his dick in no time as he starts fucking up in your mouth, clearly forgetting about the pictures.

It goes like this for a while, with his dick growing impossibly hard. Your jaw aches by the time he pushes down on your head, hand lost in your hair. You gag, and he moans loudly. You think he’s coming, but he somehow manages to keep it in before pulling you off.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.” He breathes for a moment, as you wipe your mouth and chin from the drool.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. You glance at the camera. “Any good pics?”

That brings him back to the land of lust and passion, and he offers you a smirk. “We can look at them after. I’m not done with you yet.”

You laugh, because you know you’ve barely started. Know you’re likely to be unable to walk tomorrow. Because the lust in his gaze hasn’t shone so bright in years, yes, but also because you almost lost each other.

Or maybe you have, and this too is just a dip in the past.

You stand up, hands snaking to your back so that you can unclasp your bra. Jungkook watches you carefully, before taking a picture as you massage your breasts. It makes you bite at your lower lip, and you look at his hard dick where it rests on his stomach.

“Can I ride you?” you ask breathlessly.

He smirks. “You don’t want me to finger you first?”

Instead of replying, you finish undressing, taking off your pants and panties at the same time. You then push on his jean jacket, and he takes that as a cue to remove it. You motion to the shirt too as he was about to lean back on his hand and he cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. When you nod, he takes it off too, and it makes his beanie fall.

His hair is a mess, and you can’t resist but step forward so that you can push it back, though you think the jet black strands are currently untamable. You give up after a few seconds, pushing on his chest so that he lies back.

His eyes are on you as you climb on his lap, and you grind along his length, coating it with your juices.

“Shit,” he lets out again. “You’re fucking dripping.”

You nod, moving up just enough so that you can grab the base of his dick. His tip prods your entrance, and he pulls at his piercings as you wait there, teasing him with a corner smile on your lips.

“Fucking tease,” he growls.

It undoes something in you. Because yes, you wanted to tease him. You wanted him to beg you to fuck him, but now you sink down on him, until he reaches your cervix. Even the pain of him hitting the back of your pussy doesn’t make you move, and your walls clench around his dick as he grunts out a curse, followed by your name.

“Kook,” you purr. “Fuck me good.”

He chuckles as you circle your hips, and his free hand rests on your hip as he angles his camera to take a picture of you again. “You can’t do the work?”

He says it condescendingly, and you find enough challenge in you to start bouncing up and down. It shuts him up, and the following moment is spent with you fucking yourself on him as he groans under you, your breathy moans filling his room. Soon enough he stops taking pictures, putting his camera down next to him so that he can hold your hips with his two hands.

And then he’s fucking up in you, and you cry out as you lean forward, wrapping an arm around his neck while your other hand holds on to his shoulder.

You’re a mess, yet your heart clenches in your chest as he fucks you like this. As you remember a land of winter, that somehow doesn’t feel as distant as it should. Maybe because of Jungkook’s wariness tonight, or maybe because you know all good things come to an end.

The thought douses your arousal, until Jungkook stills deep inside of you and whispers, “I want to be with you, like this, forever.”

You nuzzle your face in his neck and suck a mark on his skin. “Me too.”

And then he’s fucking you again, hard and quick. He holds you close, grunts in your ear as you lick at his neck. It’s an abundance of sensation, and your brain focuses on the way he hits your clit whenever he pushes up. Whenever his hips snap against you, and soon there’s an orgasm in the distance.

It finds you when he lets you sit up so that you can fuck yourself on him again, and his thumb finds your clit to press expert circles on it. It finds you hard, and your pussy spasms repeatedly on his dick. He helps you through the high, and when you finally come down, a dumb smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“Fuck,” you let out.

“Felt good?” he asks with a teasing tone to his voice, the one you know he only reserves for you.

To hear it right now makes you love him so much you think you’ll die on the spot. Because yes, tonight has been great. Yes, it’s almost been like before, but what if he doesn’t take you back?

What if, in the end, this was just an extended moment meant to be closure for you and him?

“Yes,” you still reply.

Because no matter how much your heart aches in your chest, you’ll never lie to him.

“Good,” he says. He sits up, wraps an arm around your waist to steady you as he brings his mouth to yours.

You go in for the kiss. Meet him halfway, and you moan against him as he moves under you, albeit clumsily from the position.

His lips will make you drunk. Make you dumb, make you forget that there’s a world outside the door. That, in that world, you might not belong to him anymore. But then again, you think you do. To you, you always will.

“Lie on your side,” he says after a moment, lips moving against yours.

Jungkook pecks your lips one last time before you move, and then he kneels behind you. His dick prods your entrance again, and he grabs his camera to snap another picture.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he praises as he pushes the tip in, taking another picture. “Such a good little fucking slut.”

And then he pushes all the way in, until all of him is embedded in you. You grip the sheets as a broken moan escapes your lips. He holds your hip with one hand, fingers digging in the supple skin as he fucks you hard, chasing his own orgasm.

He looks good doing it. Long hair sticking to the sweat on his face, eyes narrowed in pleasure, mouth open as soft grunts echo through the room. The purple light makes his honey skin glow somehow, and you feel another orgasm reaching for you, though it doesn’t hit right away. It just feels so good – as he always does – and you can’t help but clench your walls against him.

That’s what undoes him. He comes, ropes of white painting your insides, as he swears and says your name in a litany that almost makes you go over the edge too.

“Baby,” he says at the end.

It feels like a confirmation. Like a confirmation that, maybe, maybe you will work this time around. That maybe distance won’t destroy you again – maybe you’ll grow old and gray by his side.

“You came so much,” you say as you feel his hot cum sitting deep inside of you.

He pulls at his piercing, nodding once. And then he pulls out, and he takes a picture of the cum dripping out of you. He decides to push it back in, curling a finger inside of you, and your walls clench as you moan.

“Touch your clit,” he tells you.

You don’t need to be told twice. You quickly move your fingers to the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing quick circles on it as he pushes another digit inside of you, fingering you until the second orgasm finally finds you.

You cry out his name, a broken plea that doesn’t really make any sense as your vision turns white. And it stays that way for a long time, blinding you until ecstasy is swimming in your blood. And when you come down from the high, all that you can think is how much you missed him.

“Kook,” you breathe out.

“Baby…”

He puts the camera away, and then bends to press a kiss on your lips. It’s soft, and you grab his face to hold him in place, not even wincing as a bead of his sweat rolls on your cheek. You kiss him with a heart heavy with emotions, trying to show him that you’re never going to leave again. When he pulls away, you notice his teary gaze.

“Can we be together again?” he asks, and you watch in horror as a tear rolls on his cheek. You sit up, drying it with your thumb.

And you don’t care if it was too quick. Don’t care that there’s a high chance it won’t last. You still answer, “Yes, Kook. Yes we can.”

He smiles, nodding his head. “Let’s take a shower. I want to hold you tonight.”

You want to cry from the statement, want to tell him that you wish he could hold you forever, but the words get lodged in your throat. Instead, you follow him as he gets up, interlacing your fingers with his as he leads you to the bathroom, uncaring that his seed is rolling down your inner thighs.

He turns the shower on, and soon enough you’re standing under the hot water. He watches you carefully, presses a kiss on your forehead when you stand in front of him. You wrap your arms around his waist, holding him as close as you physically can. Even then it’s not enough – you want him under your skin, or to be under his.

You don’t think you’d survive being parted from him again. Maybe that’s why you let him fuck you again when you return to his room, slower this time, lips entwined in a never-ending embrace. Love flows between you and him, and it’s etched in the way your bodies move together, in the way you’ve been molded perfectly for him, and him for you.

You wonder if outside, the stars are shining. And you’re struck thinking that tonight, tonight they’ve aligned for you and him again, the universe agreeing for this second chance between you and him.

So you hold him close, and pray that this time around, forever is waiting for you.

Saturday, September 9th

                Jungkook wakes up slowly. Softly, the same way waves hit the shore at low tide. He’s unusually warm, and he frowns as he shifts, trying to turn on his side. Then, he realizes his arm is stuck under something. His very dead arm, and he cracks an eye open.

That’s when he remembers that it’s you. You’re the one sleeping next to him, mouth slightly agape as you breathe softly. You’re also the one crushing his arm, and he tentatively clenches and unclenches his fist to try to get the blood circulation back on track. It doesn’t really work, so then he stops, figuring he’s going to have to make you move somehow.

But you look peaceful, in the light of the rising sun. Serene, like there’s never been anything wrong in this world. This morning, Jungkook wants to believe it. Wants to believe that happiness is all he’s ever known – that accidents, heartbreak and pain are all constructs of his imagination.

He’s too realistic for that. Or perhaps the breakup has made him pessimistic. Because the peace of the moment doesn’t really linger, and he’s stuck reliving the moment you left, that night in May. Stuck reliving the wait for you to come back, only you never did.

Or maybe you did, months later. Maybe you really are back, and this time you’ll stay.

You mumble something in your sleep, startling him. It takes him a few seconds to realize you’re still deep asleep, but when you move he quickly does too, pulling his arm from under your head. You frown, lick your lips, and then your features smooth out as you return to your peaceful slumber.

He turns on his side, watching you carefully. He’s aware that watching you sleep is creepy, but he can’t help it. Not when his bed has been empty for months.

He stays like this for a while, unable to fall back asleep. Because, what if you’re gone when he wakes up again? He doesn’t want to risk it.

Unable to help himself, he gently brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. You sigh, and he’s afraid he’s woken you up. When a small smile appears on your lips, his heart skips a beat, yet you don’t show any other sign that you’re awake. He assumes you aren’t, and then decide to take a picture of this moment.

He feels like he’s going to need it. Like all the pictures he took yesterday – he was desperate to commit to memory as much of you as he possibly could. He feels bad – he said he’d give you a chance, he is giving you a chance, but some part of him is just waiting for it to blow up in his face.

Maybe if he expects it it will hurt less.

He carefully grabs his camera where he left it on his night table. He doesn’t dare take a look at the pictures you took yesterday, a little ashamed that he asked you to do that in the first place. Silently, he takes a picture of you, and then puts the camera away.

Only, the reminder of the kind of pictures he’d find in the camera was enough to make his blood stir, and he picks it back up almost immediately.

And then there you are, in all your glory. Beautiful as ever, pussy filled to the brim with his cum, with his cock. Tits squeezed in your hands, in his, and his dick goes rock hard as blood leaves his head.

He wants you again, and he wants you now. He doesn’t care that it’s early morning, that he never liked waking up early. All he can do is put the camera down and slide closer to you. He pulls you back into his embrace, and you sigh softly as he wraps his arms around you.

Jungkook holds you tighter, nuzzling his face in your hair. The inebriating scent of your shampoo fills his nose, and his dick twitches in his underwear.

You hum, and he holds you tighter. “Morning,” he says, voice low and gravelly.

You make another sound that can pass as a hum, but you move against him, until you’ve wrapped an arm around his middle. There’s a moment where silence reigns again, and Jungkook is afraid you’ve fallen back asleep, but then you say, “Morning.”

He smiles. “Slept well?” he asks, kissing the top of your head.

He’s convinced you’re smiling against him as you say, “Want to sleep more.”

He whines, which earns him a chuckle from you that makes the wariness settle back in, even as his heart feels full in his chest.

It never felt full without you. Another reason why he needs to be ready for the blow, whenever it comes.

“I want you,” he admits. “Can’t sleep.”

You hum again, and your hand slides down his back. You squeeze his ass, and then move the hand back up. “You’re going to have to try.”

He whines, lips jutting out in a pout. “Boring.”

At that you laugh, pushing him slightly until you’re able to look him in the eye. He keeps the pout on, knowing that it always worked with you before.

“It’s not even morning,” you point out.

“The sun is up.”

You roll your eyes, though your lips are curved upwards, your gaze beaming as you hold his. “We fucked twice last night.”

He shrugs, rolling on his back so that he can stare up at the ceiling. He pulls at his piercing, the new one, and then turns his head towards you again. “Yeah, and?”

“Surely you don’t need to fuck right now,” you tease.

He frowns, looking away again. “Not my fault if I haven’t fucked since… May. Last weekend doesn’t count.”

“I’m pretty sure it does,” you say, laughing lightly. You prop yourself up on an elbow, blinking away the tiredness as you meet his gaze again. “And besides,” you pause, features turning confused as a crease appears between your brows. “Haven’t you fucked while we were…” you trail off, motioning vaguely around you.

And then something occurs to Jungkook. Something bad – maybe the explosion was closer than he expected it to be. Maybe he’s been standing in the radius of impact, waiting for the bomb to go off. And maybe your sleep deprived brain forgot the measure of protection, maybe it forgot he was standing there.

Because your eyes go round with fear, right as a drop of lead solidifies in Jungkook’s stomach.

“What?” he lets out.

What a stupid question to ask. He wants to beat himself up, because he knows.

He knows now that you’ve been with someone else. Why else would you be surprised that he hasn’t?

“I’m just saying…” you try, but it’s too late.

The bomb has gone off, and all that’s left is rumbles.

“Get out,” Jungkook says, and somehow it’s lacking bite. It’s lacking anger, lacking any signs that he cares for you.

It surprises even himself – doesn’t he care? Or is there nothing left of him in the aftermath of the explosion?

“Kook.”

“You’ve fucked someone else,” he states. When you don’t say anything, just watch him in horror, he sits up in bed. “Get out.”

“Come on,” you let out this time, following him up. You wrap yourself in the blanket, his blanket, and he wants to rip it from your body. Doesn’t want anything that’s his to be in contact with you anymore. “It didn’t mean anything,” you say, and you’re suddenly blinking back tears. “It was just one-time.”

“Frankly, I don’t want to know,” Jungkook says, and he really doesn’t. Doesn’t want to think about another man’s hand on you, or he’ll break.

He’s done breaking for you.

You don’t fight the tears, as you understand that the end really has come. At least that’s what he thinks happens – you just sit there, gaze heavy with tears until they fall, little droplets that carry a world of regret.

After all, the distance really was enough to break you up, wasn’t it?

Jungkook watches you, surprised that his heart is not clenching in his chest. No, he feels nothing as he watches you – he’s already cried enough for you.

“We were broken up,” you murmur, holding his gaze. “It’s not like I cheated.”

At that he laughs, shaking his head. If you can’t understand that he’s done, that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, then he’ll do it the harsh way.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he says. “I couldn’t be with someone else. I tried, and you were all I could think of. And…”

“You tried!” you interject. “You tried and you’re giving me shit for it?”

He gets up, trying to put distance between you and him, as if that’ll make the fight easier.

“I still chose not to do it,” he coldly states. “The girl was willing, she even kissed me and…”

“You kissed someone else?”

He laughs again, the absurdity of the situation dawning upon him. “Yeah? Tae set me up on a date, and the girl kissed me at the end and I told her I couldn’t. I didn’t fuck someone else.”

The way he’s throwing the blame at you feels selfish, especially as more tears join those already sliding down your cheeks.

“How is that fair, that you’re mad at me when you literally went on a date with someone else?” You pause, choking on a sob as you try to dry your cheeks. “Come on, Kook, it meant nothing.”

“Who did you fuck anyway?” he asks.

For a reason unknown, your tears stop. Entirely, there a moment and gone the next. “Why do you want to know?”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t fucking want to know, and he scoffs as he runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. “Get out,” he says again, still as stern and void of emotion.

“It was Harrison,” you still say. “I switched departments because I didn’t want to see him again after that.”

Now, there’s an inkling of pain tickling the carcass of his dead heart. As if there was still more, for him to feel, even after everything. As if pain is but a constant of his life now, and he thinks maybe it is.

“Your colleague?” he repeats, dumbfounded.

He’s met Harrison a couple of times, throughout your relationship. He’s always thought the guy was decent, but now something very ugly settles deep in his core. Something that tells him, ‘Hey, maybe he’s only ever wanted to fuck her, maybe he was waiting for his chance’.

The words are on a loop in his head, and he doesn’t even think he can see you anymore. All that he sees is Harrison with his hands on you, in his ever-too creative mind.

He startles as you put a hand on his arm. He shrugs your grip off, steps away from you. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Kook, I swear, please listen to me,” you beg, and now you’re crying again.

He shakes his head. “I don’t want to.” At that he shuts his eyes, runs a hand on his forehead and then through his hair. “I really don’t want to. I don’t want you to be here anymore.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” you say, an echo of something you said earlier. Though this time you say it differently, as if you too sensed the finality in Jungkook’s tone.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever want you to be around anymore. He was stupid to give you a chance after you broke his heart – you chose to break up, months ago. Why would it be different this time around?

“It doesn’t matter,” he tells you, as softly as he can. Because he knows you’ll break even more, and some dark, twisted part of him is satisfied that this time, this time he’s the one with all the power over you. “I’m done, Y/n.”

The words sound like thunder, in all their calmness. In all their softness – or maybe that was the sound of your heart breaking. Whatever it was, Jungkook really is done. He wants you gone, wants to be able to break in the quiet peace of his home.

A home you aren’t a part of anymore.

You nod. He expects you to fight more, but you nod. Choke out a sob, turn around, and start putting your clothes on. He figures he should dress too, so he does, picking up discarded items of clothing on the floor, not caring that they probably aren’t clean. All that he cares about is to get you out of his apartment, out of his sight.

And when you’re ready, he walks you to the front door. Lets you say goodbye to Bam, a crushing parallel to the time you’ve said goodbye in May. Bam still looks confused, and Jungkook feels bad, for a moment. Because you were the dog’s mother – he’s been looking for you ever since May. Jungkook can only hope that, this time around, Bam understands that it’s farewell.

When you straighten, you mutter an apology. Jungkook ignores it, holds your gaze expecting something to hurt, but he’s just empty. Empty and tired, and all he wants is to go back to sleep and to never wake up again.

“I can’t let you go,” you let out, voice stark with pain.

He shrugs. “You should have realized that in May.”

You close your eyes, and you look so fragile. Like glass – it never survives the shockwave of an explosion, doesn’t it?

“Please,” you beg. “Let me make it up to you.”

He laughs bitterly. “How? You’re going to go back in time and not get fucked by him? You’re going to go back in time and not break up?”

You look like you want to curse him, and he almost wants you to. He wants you to fight, wants you to make him feel something other than this emptiness. Instead, you shake even more, sobs racking through you.

“I wish I could.”

“Leave.”

“Jungkook, I swear,” you insist. “Let’s not lose each other over this.”

He wets his lips, tongue pushing in the inside of his cheek next. “We’ve lost each other already. It’s time we realize that we have.”

And that does it. You fall silent, defeat washing over you like a tsunami wave – there’s nothing left after its passage, and you look tired, sick, standing there right next to the door.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize again.

He shrugs. “It’s whatever. The past is the past.”

You look like you want to say something else, but somehow you remain silent. Somehow you look at him for a time, bloodshot eyes taking in his features as if it’s the last time you’ll ever see him again. He surprises himself by doing it too, mostly by instinct. Because right now, looking at you makes him want to be sick, but he knows that it won’t last.

He knows that the echo of pain in the distance is a good indicator that he still has it in him to break for you. That he’ll break for you forever, perhaps. Because he doesn’t think that there’s an end to you and him. It’s always going to be a cycle, and it’ll never end well.

“Goodbye, Jungkook,” you murmur.

He offers you a tight-lipped smile. “Goodbye.”

All he can do is hope you know it means farewell.

Thursday, October 5th

                You used to love fall. The cooler weather, the long walks that smell like soil and fallen leaves and pumpkins. Nowadays, you hate fall.

You hate it because he loved it, and every reminder of him is poison to you. And though the season is still early, the days are getting shorter, and the longer the night, the more you drown in thoughts.

You haven’t slept in weeks. Have barely eaten too, and you’ve been off from work for a week. It’s allowed you to stay in, to just sit and try to breathe, hoping that it’ll help.

That it’ll fix something that’s never going to be fixed.

You’re lost. Lost in a town that used to be your home, lost in memories that used to be beauty brought to life – now, you’re seeing the ugliness in beauty. Because beauty is temporary, and like all temporary things in life it doesn’t last long enough. Beauty, and the ending temporality of it, leaves nothing when it goes but a bitter taste in mouth.

Perhaps that’s why you haven’t been able to eat properly.

You haven’t spoken to anyone, since the early morning he asked you to leave. Yet for some reason, you’ve felt the need to go outside today. To walk around, aimlessly perhaps, but you couldn’t stay inside a second longer. Too many tears were shed in your apartment, and you hoped the cool weather would help you feel better.

It does, a little. Because you feel like you’re breathing him in every time you inhale, and then carry him out on an exhale. You feel close to him, in a distant way that’s bound to only make you break harder tonight, but right now you can’t bring yourself to care. You do hate the reminders of him, but you need them. Viscerally, as he was the oxygen in your lungs for so long.

You’re going to have to learn how to live without him, one step at a time.

So you take another step, let your instinct carry you where you have to go. Maybe it knows how to heal.

The sun is descending in the sky, and the absence of clouds lead to a sea of azure you’d swim in if you could. You’d soar up high, so high that there isn’t oxygen anymore, and maybe then the pain would cease. You’d ride a sunray into the night, where you’d finally be able to fall into a well-deserved slumber.

As you look up, a tiny bird flies across the sky, a small speck of brown that goes so fast you think you imagine it. Like the years with him – they went by so quickly, the crushing wheel of time spinning down the slope towards the end.

Seven years ago, almost to the day, you kissed him on a hotel roof lost in Chicago, under clouds painted with fire. Who knew seven years later you’d be trying to live without him, clearly failing at it.

You sigh, pushing the thought away as you reach a crossing. You wait for the light to turn green, then follow the parallel white lines across the road. You avoid a pile of leaves, though a strong gust of wind makes some of them swirl around you, spinning like Mother Nature’s tiny dancers.

The foliage in the trees along the street is golden and red, bright colours that look out of place in the bleakness of your heart. You follow them, wonder if they know that they are about to die. The answer is one you’ll never have, and so you walk under the trees, the autumn breeze playing with your hair.

You don’t know where your steps have been carrying you. You’ve long gone past the places you usually go to, heading towards the middle of the city. The no man’s land between you and Jungkook, spread wide in a maze of streets you want to get lost in.

So you do. You press on, walk until the sun becomes a ball of melted gold nearing the horizon, and it’s on the corner of a street that a glint in a vitrine catches your eyes.

You eye the rings, crafted by an expert hand. Bands of gold, with diamonds and emeralds and gems you don’t know the name of. They look expensive, elegant, and you wonder if you would have had a ring on your finger one day, bought by him.

Recklessly, you walk into the shop, wishing to peruse its vitrines, hoping they’ll offer you dreams to survive the night. And you can almost see it – a ring on your finger, a proposal under a star-sprinkled sky, an intimate wedding for you and him. A dance, always and forever, of love shared like a secret in the night. Your secret, as the end would have one day come for you and him, an eternity of life later. You would have been old and grey, yet your love would have been young and eternal.

In this dream, he would have never taken the job overseas. You’d have stayed here, together, growing old by his side. You would have gotten more dogs, maybe even a cat, and you’d have lived happily ever after.

You wonder if, in a parallel universe to yours, the dream is unfolding. If parallel-universe you has the chance to experience it, and you think she does. You think she does, and the love is so strong it’s shaking through universes, picking you up like you’re just a leaf in an autumn wind.

Because why else, then, do you find yourself buying a gold band? Too big for you, masculine in its simplicity. Something you think he would have worn, had you been in that other universe.

You sit on a bench outside, after, as the last of the sunlight finally fades away, replaced by a blue dusk that matches your mood far better than the sun ever could. You have no idea where you are in the city, no will to brave the trek back home – you’ve been out for hours at this point.

You grab your phone, long forgotten in your purse. You haven’t touched it all day, and to your surprise you’ve received a couple of texts while you were walking, all by the same person.

[04:37 pm] Jimin: hey, this is going to sound crazy [04:37 pm] Jimin: and I’m really sorry to be telling u this [04:37 pm] Jimin: can u go check on JK? [04:38 pm] Jimin: he’s been unreachable for days and at this point I think he’ll only talk to u

You want to text him back to fuck off, to leave you alone, yet you hold on tighter to the velvety box in which the gold band hides. After all, even if you’ve received the texts hours ago, you’re realizing perhaps that that’s where your steps have been leading you anyway.

It’s stupid – he asked you to leave. Hasn’t contacted you once since then, and it’s like the wedding and the week after never happened. Like you’ve been broken up for months, like you barely know him anymore. He’s a stranger now, in your life, something you’d never thought he’d become someday.

And why would he talk to you? Why would he want you in his vicinity, when he made it clear as spring water that he was done, that the end had come to pass between you and him?

But if the end has come, why is that you’ve been feeling like you’re surrounded by him, today? Like you’ll always be – just a drop of water in the sea of him. Perhaps you are weak, to feel for him the way that you do, but seven years ago, the cataclysm that started you and him shook you, and its repercussions are still felt today. Will be felt until your dying breath, until all that’s left of you is stardust.

So you let your feet carry you, weightless in the way that you’re moving forward. Like you are once again but a leaf carried by the wind, and you can only hope that it’ll let you land in the right place.

You don’t really know how you make it to his building. Perhaps you were closer than you initially thought you were – all that you know is that you recognize the building, and that you sense his proximity through the walls.

Your heart reaches for him, longs for him in a way you can’t ignore anymore. Because you’ve been dead, without him. Just a shell of what you should be, of what you want to be. Because yes, you could learn to live without him. After everything that you’ve been through, you know well enough that you are strong enough to do it.

But you don’t want it. You want that dream you’ve found in the jewelry shop, want to make it possible. Want to prove that, no matter who would ever get close to you, he’ll always be the owner of your heart.

So you walk in. Reach the elevator, press on the call button. Then on the fourth floor, reminiscing the night you rode the elevator in his company, right before the fall. The new fall, a harshest one that made you reach those low levels of hell that living without him are consisted of.

You awaken when you are standing in front of his door. You think you can almost hear him inside, moving around through his home. You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat, where you’re standing. If he too can tell that you’re nearby once again, even though you shouldn’t have been.

Even though farewells have come to pass between you and him.

You don’t knock. You don’t have to. To your surprise, the door opens in front of you, slowly, before you’ve even managed to raise your arm to knock. Then his voice fills your ear, as he tells Bam to wait. You just stand there, dumbfounded, and then his eyes move from the floor to your face, and his mouth falls open.

Bam jumps on you, tail wagging wildly as you take a step back from the force of impact. You pet him on the head, pushing him back to the floor as you try to focus on Jungkook.

And then it dawns upon you that you have no clue what to tell him. You reckon you maybe should have prepared something in advance, because you’re wordless standing in front of him.

“Hey,” you eventually say, and you think the world has time to revolve around the sun three times before you manage to say something else. “How are you?”

His mouth slowly shuts, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He pulls on Bam’s leash, tells the dog to sit, before he finally addresses you. Just your name, and the way he says it make it sound formal, like you’re just a stranger.

“What are you doing here?” he asks after another moment.

You look down at your hands. At the box you’re holding, and his eyes follow after you. “I was thinking of you, today,” you admit.

He sighs, and his eyes shut. “You were?”

You nod as he meets your gaze again. “When am I not?” Your comment doesn’t ask for a response, and he doesn’t offer you one either. “Jimin told me you’ve been unreachable.”

“Yeah,” he lets out. “I’ve been busy.”

“Oh.” You try to look behind him, as if you’ll find his reason to be busy there. “Can I talk to you?”

He says your name, this time like an apology. “I told you we were done.”

You shrug. “I know.” You gulp, fingers playing with the velvet box as if it’ll help ground you. “Can I walk Bam with you, then?”

He looks conflicted but he gives in. Says yes in a defeated way that rips your heart from your chest, in a way that makes you cling to the ring box even more, hoping that it’ll offer you salvation.

Being outside in the early fall evening with him feels like the Earth has finally returned to its normal axis. You don’t say anything, unable to find the words, and he remains silent too. You just enjoy his company, watching over Bam as he sniffs at plants before peeing on a pole.

Stars are twinkling in the sky up above. The breeze is still soft tonight, caressing your features in a gentle embrace that resembles the one he’d used to offer you, though it’s far colder than his. You spare a glance at him – he’s already looking, and he doesn’t look away as your gazes connect.

“What are you doing here?” he asks again.

You wet your lips. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

“How is that an explanation?” A shrug of your shoulders is all the answer he gets. He scoffs, shakes his head slightly, and then his head turns toward the door of his building. “I have hot chocolate inside,” he tells you, once again sounding defeated. “Do you want a cup?”

Turns out salvation wasn’t to be found in the velvet box you’re holding, but in the gentle angles of Jungkook’s features, behind his big doe eyes that will forever feel like home to you.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just wanted to… talk.”

“Then let’s talk over a cup of hot chocolate,” he says.

Which is what you do. You follow him in, feeling like you’re out of place in his life. Like he’s only giving this to you because of what you used to be to one another. Yet you don’t care. You’re slowly finding words, your brain shaping them into sentences to change an ending you can’t come to terms with.

Jungkook prepares the hot chocolate in silence, as you sit at his small dinner table. You play with Bam as he does so, a game of tug-of-war that you’re bound to lose as the dog is far stronger than you. Yet you still indulge, as you’ve missed Bam far more than you even thought possible.

The game is only interrupted when Jungkook rests a cup of steaming hot chocolate on the table next to you. You let Bam go, and the dog trots away to go play somewhere else, you can only assume.

“What did you want to talk about?”

You’ve left the ring box on the table. You’ve noticed Jungkook glancing at it repeatedly since you’ve put it there, and you worry at your bottom lip.

“I wanted to apologize again, for what it’s worth,” you answer. “I felt horrible when it happened, and just wanted to forget all about it.”

His features turn harsh, and his eyes drop into the cup of hot chocolate he’s nursing for himself. It reminds you of a café, of a conversation you had years ago, that led to you opening up to him, and to him opening up to you.

“I love you,” you continue. “I haven’t stopped loving you, and if I’d known that breaking up would hurt so much, I would’ve fought harder. I wish I had, and I wish I’d never let you go.”

“But you did…” he says when you remain silent for a few seconds.

“But I did. And I understand if you hate me for it. If you don’t want to ever see me again. But shit, you’re the only thing that I’ve been able to think about. Just you, and everything that could have been, had I been stronger.”

You grab the cup of hot chocolate, the warmth of it slowly seeping through your cold fingers. For the next few minutes, you don’t say anything, and neither does he. You just drink the hot chocolate, hoping you’ll find more words to say at the bottom of the cup.

“The distance was hard,” Jungkook eventually says. “I don’t blame you for wanting to end things over it.”

It surprises you. Makes your brain go entirely empty, and you just watch him with wide eyes for a few seconds.

He shrugs as you don’t say anything. “What?” He looks down, tongue darting out to play with his piercings. “I’ve been thinking about everything too.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I over-reacted, when you told me you had sex with Harrison,” he admits.

Totally not expecting the conversation to take this turn, you’re stunned silent.

“I was shocked, and needed time to process,” he continues. “You were right, the fact that I went on a full-on date is just as bad, differently. We were broken up, we didn’t owe each other anything.”

As much as it pains you to agree, you still do, nodding your head. “We didn’t.”

He purses his lips, holds your gaze for a few seconds before glancing down at his cup. The silence is more comfortable now, as you think maybe, maybe then the dream you’ve dreamed about isn’t just a distant mirage of what could have once been. It’s foolish, but you can’t help it.

You think your heart is beating for the first time since you left that morning weeks ago.

“Did you want to speak about anything else?” he asks after he’s taken a long sip of his hot chocolate.

You take a deep breath, and somehow courage finds you on the long exhale. “I don’t want us to be over.”

You think you hear him gulp. “You don’t?”

Blinking away a few tears, you shake your head no. “I really don’t. I walked around all day today, and all I could think about was you. All I could think of was all the years between us, from when we met to a few weeks ago. And I don’t know, I refuse to accept that the end has come.”

“When does it come, then?” he asks.

“When the end comes?”

He nods.

“After years and years,” you say, allowing yourself to voice your dream. “Hopefully after we’ve had years to live together. After we’ve gotten married, and maybe even after we’ve had kids. Not that I want some.” You pause, and you look down at the table, unable to carry the weight of his gaze anymore. “Or maybe after we’ve had plenty of dogs, a cat or two. After we’ve had a house with a white picket fence, after we’ve danced under a thousand different night skies.” A tear rolls on your cheek, and you do nothing to stop it. “After we’ve travelled the world together, after we’ve had a chance to live, together.”

“And what happens after we’ve lived together?” he presses.

You shrug. “Then we die together. Then we turn into stardust and memories. I don’t care. As long as it’s with you, I don’t care what happens to me.”

Blurry behind the wall of tears in your eyes, you see Jungkook run a hand through his hair. “You don’t?”

“I don’t,” you echo. “I just want to get to love you.”

At that you do cry. And not just a little bit. Your heart longs and yearns for him, reaching in the space between you, trying to find a beat to sync with. You wipe your cheeks dry with trembling hands, before pressing the heel of your palms on your eyes, hoping to stop the cascade at the source.

“It’s a nice dream,” Jungkook says after the few minutes it takes you to collect yourself, your hands falling to the table.

“Is it?”

He nods. “Yeah. I don’t think we’d do a white picket fence though. I’ve always found cedar trees make a better fence.”

Something stirs inside of you, and you want to take a hold of him, and to never let go. “Yeah?”

He sits back in the chair, looks up to the ceiling as he blinks away the silver in his own gaze. You wonder if he’s crying because he saw you cry, as the sympathetic crier that he is, or because he shares the emotions in your heart.

“Where would you want to get married?” he asks then.

You push the velvet box towards him. “This is for you.”

He doesn’t acknowledge this, instead repeating the question.

“Somewhere in the countryside,” you answer. “Maybe the cottage where it all started.” You think about Julys of a world ago. “Under the night sky.”

“People don’t usually get married when it’s already dark.”

“Right,” you let out. “Then we’d have a ceremony for just us two when it’s dark outside.”

At that he grabs the box, opening it. You reckon he must have known what the content was, because he doesn’t say anything as he takes it out. As he tries to put it on his finger, though it doesn’t fit. It’s too tight, and it makes him chuckle, a sad sound that almost kills you on the spot.

“Do you think we’d dance under the stars?” he asks as he turns the gold band in his fingers, and light glimmers on it.

“Yes,” you say, nodding your head. “We always would.”

“So you came all the way here to tell me this?”

He meets your gaze again, for the first time in a while. He looks struck with emotion, much like you feel – the depths of his eyes are swirling with love and ache and yearning. You fall forward, fall in his eyes, trying to find home again.

“I came here to ask you to marry me,” you finally say, as it dawns upon you that, yes, your steps were leading you to this all along. “Jungkook, will you marry me?”

He smiles, a world of sadness etched in the sweet curve of his lips. “Can it be this easy?”

You shut your eyes. “It can. Please. Let’s not lose what we have again.”

“When would you like to get married?” he asks.

“Are you saying yes?”

He plays with his piercing, takes a deep breath as he chases tears away from his gaze but to no avail. You watch the two drops as they slowly roll down his face. “When would you like to get married?”

“In July,” you answer easily.

“Next year?”

You nod.

He holds your gaze for a few seconds more, then looks at the gold band again. His fist closes around it, slowly, as if he’ll be able to crush it in his hold. For what you don’t know. All that you know is that his features grow tortured, pained. It doesn’t last long – another deep breath later the expression is gone.

“I need to tell you something,” he says then, his voice so small you can barely hear it.

You prepare yourself. As well as you can, expecting the blow before it comes. You sense it – in the eternity it takes for him to speak again, you see every moment of you and him before this day, your life flashing before your eyes as if you’re about to die.

And then he says it a first time. At first you don’t even understand the words, as if he’s speaking a foreign language. So you let out, “What?”, hoping that it will change the cruelty that this world holds.

But nothing can, after the end has come. Nothing, especially not as he repeats the words, softly, their meaning tainting the dream you’ve just painted with him, until all that’s left of it is a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

“I’m permanently moving to South Korea.”

Prev | Next

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I'm sorry for the angst, for the cliffhanger, for them to be so stubborn and for how life is working against them now. I hope you don't hate me too much after this :') let me know what you think of this chapter!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Stress Relief | Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Katsuki Bakugo x AFAB Reader 💋

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: A quick unedited one shot where the reader is stressed and Katsuki decides to help her de-stress :) Nothing complicated here, just sexy vibes.

CW: MDNI!, A18+, kissing, romance, sexual tension, spicy scenes, fingering, lemon, Smut, Dirty Talk, Hurt/Comfort

It’s dark in your dorm when Katsuki Bakugo slips through the unlocked door. You’re starting to fall asleep when you see the door open a crack, the light from the hallway illuminating his pale features with its glow.

You’re exhausted and not in the mood to talk to him, not after the day you had. You glare at him from your bed as he quietly shuts the door behind you.

“Come on, babe. Don’t give me that look.” He groans, padding over to your bed and slipping beneath the covers beside you. “You know that I can’t take it easy on you when we spar. You don’t get special treatment in class just because you’re my girlfriend.”

You turn away from him to face the wall, ignoring him. Not only had Katsuki hit you with an over the top, uncalled for special move in training – it was a move you had never seen before. You had thought the two of you shared absolutely everything. You were almost at the end of your third year at UA, chasing graduation. For the past year and a half, you two had been daydreaming about starting a hero agency together. If Katsuki had hid an insane special move from you only to bring it out in a simple training match…what else was he hiding?

“I know that look.” He says as he wraps his arms around you. He’s so strong and sturdy you can’t help but melt into him. “I didn’t tell you about the move because I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you would be more excited about it, honestly. Come on, babe. Don’t be mad.”

You sigh, your whole body sore from where he walloped you with his overenthusiastic explosion earlier that day. Finally, you acknowledge him. “I’ve showed you all of my special moves – even the secret ones. And yet…you kept this insane move a secret even from me. Sometimes I don’t think you trust me.”

He’s quiet for a moment, rolling your words around in his mind. When he does speak, there’s a tinge of hurt in his voice. A vulnerability that only a few people will ever hear form Katsuki Bakugo. “Babe…I didn’t realize I was keeping it a secret. I was really excited to show you. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t trust you. You’re the only person who knows absolutely all of me. You gotta believe that.” He squeezes his arms lightly around you, reinforcing the words.

You huff with frustration. “Yeah, I know, okay? I’m just really achy and pissed off that you decided to debut some flashy move while fighting me. Why couldn’t you unleash it on Kaminari or Kirishima?”

He buries his face in the back of your neck. “I was tryin’ to impress ya, is all.”

“I’d be a lot more impressed if you didn’t blast the hell out of me during a training exercise.” You try to scoot away from him and end up stretching out your muscles at an odd angle. You cry out softly at the pain.

“Did I hurt ya that bad?” He says, concern lacing his words. “You’re made of such tough stuff…but maybe I took things a little too far in the ring.” His hands run across your body soothingly, trying to rub out any aches and pains that he may have caused during your sparring.

“It’s fine. Honestly, it was a really stressful day and your new ‘special move’ was just the icing on top of the cake. I just need it to be the weekend already.” You sigh out. The past few weeks have been so stressful at school and at your work study. You’re tired and overworked, and you could really just use a break. Katsuki unleashing the full force of his explosion hell on you in class was definitely not something you were mentally or physically prepared for – all you want to do now is rest.

“I know you’ve been real stressed lately. Sorry if I added to it.” He mumbles into your shoulder, leaving light kisses along your skin. You shiver when you feel the tip of his tongue dart out to trace a shape on the sensitive skin of your clavicle.

“Hey…you know what we haven’t done in a while?” His voice suddenly brightens and his hand snakes down to grip your stomach lightly over your shirt. “I can think of a great way to give you a good dose of stress relief.” He smooths his hand down the plane of your stomach and finds the hem of your shirt, dipping underneath the thin fabric so that he can fan out his fingers across your delicate skin. “Let me take your stress away with my fingertips, sweetheart.” He begins to run his fingers back and forth under the waistband of your sweatpants. The sensual touch causes a sparking sensation to gather down in your core. Everywhere he touches, goose bumps pop up on your skin.

“…Kats.” You say, warningly. The walls of the dorm are notoriously thin, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of Mr. Aizawa’s lectures about safe sex, creating a culture of respect, the dorm rules, etc.

“Just keep quiet. I’ll make it quick as I can. No one ever has to know.” He leans in and starts to plant slow, open mouthed kisses along your neck, his fingers dipping lower and into dangerous territory. He brings the palm of his hand to rest right above your panties and slowly starts to circle your clit from over the delicate cotton fabric.

“Oh.” You breathe out, your body coming back to life as Katsuki touches you. He’s always so direct, so sure of himself. His approach to sex is reflective of that – don’t beat around the bush, just get to the heart of the pleasure.

“Yeah?” He whispers wetly before nipping at your earlobe. “You like when I touch you here?”

“Duh.” You hiss through your teeth. Katsuki pulls his hand away from your pussy and you almost cry out at the loss of contact. He brings his ring and middle fingers to his mouth and sucks, coating them in a thick sheen of saliva. He then moves to touch you again, this time sliding his hand beneath your panties for better access. When his warm, wet fingers hit your clit – your body absolutely lights up. All aches and pains are gone – its just you, Katsuki, and his magical fingers.

He starts out slow, circling around your clit until your grinding your butt back into him. He loves this – spooning you while he gets you off. He loves a good power dynamic, and this is no exception. In this position, Katsuki has most of the control. He likes that you know it, too.

He circles your clit lazily for a while, letting you get a feel for it. As you start to buck into him, he decides to speed things up, dipping his fingers low so he can gather some slick from your entrance before sliding them back up to work more on your clit. Within seconds you’re begging for him to get inside you, and he obliges – slipping a single digit into you slowly while giving your clit the attention it deserves with his thumb. He lets you hump his hand, finding the angles that work best with your body and causing you to see stars.

It’s when he slips a second finger into you that you start to get close. You feel his cock harden against the curve of your ass, eager to please. He starts leaving a trail of hot hickies along your shoulder – sucking in your sensitive skin between his sharp teeth and then kissing over marks he leaves behind. The combination of sensations is far too much, and you feel yourself get closer and closer to falling off the edge. The way Katsuki's fingers are slipping, sliding, stretching...it's far too much. You want to groan in pleasure, but you keep your mouth shut as best you can.

His fingers pump in and out of you with practiced skill, and you clap a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from moaning out his name for all of the dorm to hear.

“Kats!” You say in a muffled voice from behind your hand. “Kats, I’m close.”

That’s all he needs to hear. He brings his fingers out of you to focus on your clit for a bit, drawing circles and triangles and figure eights and whatever other fuckin’ shapes he knows how to make around your sensitive bundle of nerves until your legs are shaking. Then, when he feels he’s gotten you hot and bothered enough, he slides two fingers deep into your cunt, flicking them in an attempt to hit your G spot.

And holy shit he does.

Katsuki hits that delicious spongy spot deep inside you and your body jerks with pleasure. He smirks at the reaction, proud of himself for figuring you out so quickly. He hits the spot again and again and again until your pussy tenses up and falls into one of the finest orgasms you’ve had in your life. You cum so easily, your whole body shaking as he takes you apart with nothing but his fingertips. The waves of the orgasm hit you full force, your body tingling and jerking in time with his targeted movements. He lets you ride out your orgasm, mumbling quiet praise into your ear as you grind through your high.

“That’s my good girl, so perfect for me. Cumming on my fingertips so nicely. Fuck babe. Fuck you’re gorgeous. Keep cumming for me please.”

His words are just as sexy as his hand down your pants, and you can’t believe how lucky you are to have landed someone as hot as Katsuki.

When you finally finish, he slides his hand out of your panties and pulls you close. He plants a hundred kisses across your neck and shoulder, happy to have been of service. You lay in silence for a moment – you catching your breath, him glowing with pride at a job well done.

“Did I manage to take away some of your stress?” He whispers cheekily. The damn idiot is so proud of himself, as always.

“S-sure.” You try to sound calm, cool and collected but the break in your voice is enough. Katsuki knows that he achieved exactly what he set out to do. You melt back into his chest and start to doze. What a day it's been! You're too tired to speak anymore, but you manage to squeak out: “Thanks babe. Love you.”

“Love ya, too.” He says, settling in under the covers and planting a last kiss on your back. “But I’m still not taking it easy on ya during training.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Is the last thing you say before drifting off into a sound sleep.

[lainiespicewrites]

Coach Sy part 4 "The Date"

Here it is folks! Sy and Alayna's big first date and other things ;) Enjoy let me know what you think! No I promise I'm not stopping here!!

Warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, Smut! (p in v) , creampie, Dom Sy

Reblogs and comments are always welcome! all mistakes are mine! it's late and I definitely did not proof read because I was on a roll and excited about posting it! I'm sorry in advance for any grammatical errors

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was another busy week. We were headed into the second week of October and that meant midterms were right around the corner. And so was fall break. Half of my students were anxious and stressed, they had test anxiety and were worried where this would put them on the class ranking. The others, I couldn’t get them to focus. They had one foot out the door ready for the long weekend, Ready for pumpkin patches and fall leaves. Surely plotting their next instagram post or tik tok or whatever it was they were doing now. 

I actually didn’t see much of Sy during the week, the boys were up against another difficult team this friday so he spent most of his lunches watching tape for practice. We kept things professional when we did run into each other though. It helped that I wasn’t sure how far he wanted to take it after what he’d said saturday. He wanted to be a gentleman. I guess that meant he wasn’t going to kiss me again either until he took me out on a date. I could handle that. But it didn’t mean it wasn’t torture. Logan may be kind and sweet and the perfect gentleman. But he’s also a big fucking tease. And he was doing it on purpose!

I ran into him on Wednesday afternoon in the hallway. I was on my way back in from picking up lunch. He was on his way back to his classroom. He immediately smiled when he saw me

“Well there’s a sight for sore eyes, late lunch darlin?” He asked, leaning against the wall in the hallway. I blushed.

“Hey handsome, yeah, busy afternoon just got the chance to go pick something up.” I responded. Then added “I’ve missed are lunch dates, I haven’t seen much of you this week,” I bit my lip softly waiting for him respond. 

“Yeah, me too, I’d much rather be having you for lunch,” He winked. “But I don’t think that’d be very work appropriate.” He smirked. I felt my face heat up and my eyes went wide. 

“Sy!” I scolded trying so hard to hide my laugh. He cupped the my jaw and brushed his thumb over my cheek. 

“Saturday’s only a few days away Darlin’, I waited over a year for you. Just a few more days and you can see as much of me as you want,” He drawled out chuckling softly. 

My face went completely flush and my heart rate sped up. This had to be what a heart attack felt like. God this man knew what he was doing. My skin felt like it was burning and simultaneously I was puddle on the floor for him. 

“You talk big game for a man that won’t even kiss me,” I teased, finally finding my voice again. I watched him as his eyes flickered behind me and he quickly turned to see if we were alone. 

“I can’t baby, you’re like a drug or something. If I get started with you again I’m not gonna be able to stop. And this aint the right place for that sugar.” He smiled softly. He let his hand fall back to his side. We were in the middle of the hallway surely we couldn’t stand like this forever and not get caught. And he was right. Faculty dating isn’t against the rules. But at the rate we were going we would be fired if we took a step closer to each other right now. 

“I do that much for you?” I asked, unable to hide smile. 

“You do more than that sugar, you’ll see soon enough. I gotta head back to my classroom and get some work done. I’ll see you at the game Friday! You go eat darlin, don’t need you passin out on us,” he gave me one last soft smile before we parted ways and I headed back to my office.  

On thursday night I went to dinner with the girls. And gave them all the details they’d been waiting for. 

“Girl I would have melted! He did not!” Skyler gasped. I laughed and hid my blush behind a sip of wine. 

“And in the middle of the school hallway, you guys are like teenagers,” Hayley shook her head, but smiled. “You better be back by curfew saturday night,” she smirked. I took another bite of the cake we were sharing for dessert and smiled skyler shook her head. 

“I don’t think he plans on taking her back to her house unless he’s staying the night,” She joked. 

“My god you guys can we get through one dinner without discussing my love life,” 

“No, it was non-existent until he came along and we are fully invested. This is better than TV!” Skyler laughed. “Seriously though, I hope you have so much fun saturday night, you haven’t been out on a date in… well a really long time! You deserve this!” 

“He does know you’re like horrible at bowling though right? Like when we used to go in high school your best game was like a 72, you might as well as just dropped it right in the gutter!” Hayley laughed. 

“I tried to tell him! I chuckled. “If anything there will be a lot of laughter. And it’ll be an excuse for him to put his hands on me again.” I wiggled my eyebrows. Hayley rolled her eyes and skyler almost choked on her drink laughing. I love my friends so much! 

Friday felt like it dragged on forever. Sy was busy all day again so I’d only heard from him in his usual “Good morning” text. We were busy in the office starting sign-ups for the first senior college campus field trip, and I skipped lunch so I was starving by the time I packed up my office at the end of the school day. Just as I was about to lock up my office there was a knock on my door. 

I looked up and saw a few of the boys on the football team standing outside of my office. 

“Derek, Matt, Tyler, Can I help you boys?” I smiled. 

“We just wanted to thank you for being at our game last week Ms. P, You’re the best!” Derek spoke first. He was such a sweet kid. He was a shoein for a football scholarship at one of the big universities. 

“Yeah and we heard you were gonna be there tonight too! That’s awesome, Coach says you’re our good luck charm and I think he’s right. No one’s got as much spirit as you!” Tyler laughed. 

“You boys are just trying to butter me up to write your college recommendation letters,” I chuckled. “That’s so sweet of you to say, thank you! I can’t wait to watch you guys play tonight!”

“You rock Ms. Plummer! Oh and uh,” Matt smirked  and stepped out from behind the other two boys I hadn’t noticed he was holding a bouquet of flowers. “Coach sent us to deliver these,” He said extending the vase out to me. 

“Thank you Matt,” I smiled taking them from him and setting them on my desk. “You guys better get home Coach will have your head if you don’t take care of yourselves before the game!” They all smiled 

“We’ll see you tonight Ms. P!” Derek called as they left the office. Shook my head and smiled to my self as picked up the flowers and finally closed up my office. 

Once I got home from work I set the flowers on the counter and noticed there was a little card attached. I pulled off the little envelope and took out the card. 

“Flowers for our gorgeous good luck charm. It’s gonna be a great game! Can’t wait to see you tonight Sugar ;)”  I could feel my cheeks heating up and I smiled to myself. He was too much sometimes. But I loved it. I ate a quick dinner, changed into some jeans and put on Sy’s hoodie I still had from last weekend. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.  I sprayed on a little perfume that he had complimented a while ago. And then headed out the door to get to the game a little early. 

I don’t know why I was trying to impress him. I already had him. But I really enjoyed having his attention. And I missed it so much this week while he was busy. The spot next to his truck was open so I parked next to him. It was starting to feel natural. I liked it. It felt like we belonged together. I shook my head. I was getting ahead of myself. 

When I headed toward the field I found him immediately. He was standing on the sidelines talking with the other coaches while the boys were warming up. I walked along the fence that ran along the outside of the track and stood leaned against it waiting for him to see me. One of the other coaches saw me first and smirked. He sent me a little wink before he nudged Sy and nodded in my direction. Sy raised his eyebrow and turned to see what Nick was looking at. I smiled and and waved shyly. “I’ll be back, Nick get the boys started on the next defensive drill, I want ‘em good and focused tonight!” He said barely looking back to catch his assistant coaches response before he strode over to the fence giving me a toothy grin. 

“Hello beautiful,” He smiled as he leaned his hip against the fence. 

“Hey handsome, looks like the boys are in good shape for the game tonight!” I said. He looked out at the field and watched them for a minute and nodded. 

“Yeah, we’re lookin’ even better now that our good luck charm is here. The boys couldn’t wait to give you your flowers.” He chuckled, turning back to face me. 

“Yeah? I’m sure THEY couldn’t,” I smirked. “Thank you they were beautiful, and the card was sweet Sy, you didn’t need to do that.” 

“Gentlemen always, sends flowers on the first date,” He teased. 

“Yeah but it’s not until tomorrow,” I joked. 

“Okay, so maybe I felt bad that i’ve been a little busy this week, just wanted you to know that I’m eager to see you again. I’m always thinking about ya,” he smiled

“Sy,” i blushed

“It’s true, I’m always thinking about your pretty little smile. And those lips.” He paused “The way you taste. And those tits,” He smirked wiggling is eyebrows. 

“Oh my god,” I blushed and folded my arms against the fence hiding my face. “You are ridiculous!” I mumbled against my sleeve. He chuckled. 

“Is that my sweatshirt?” He asked raising an eyebrow. I lifted my head to meet his gaze biting my lip softly. 

“It might be.” I said shyly. 

“So you’ve been thinking about me too,” He smirked. 

“It’s kinda hard not too,” I admitted. He smiled and holding my gaze for a moment before looking back at the field, then behind me at the bleachers. 

“It’s probably not appropriate for us to show PDA around the students like this huh?” He said sadly, “I wanna kiss you so bad,”

“Well, it is technically after work hours, and theres no harm in a good luck kiss.” I smiled batting my eyelashes playfully. 

“I like the way you think Darlin,” He smirked cupping my jaw tilting my face up and pressing his lips to mine softly. We stayed like that for a few seconds breathing each other in. It’d been a long week. Finally we pulled away when one of the players whistled from the sidelines. Sy chuckled and shook his head. 

“Good luch coach.” 

They didn’t need it, the boys played amazing. The predictions would be that this would be a close scoring game, but our team shut them out. The final score was 54 to 10. They had 4 straight consecutive wins this season. They were undefeated so far and if they won again next week it would be the first time in 15 years we’d headed into an undefeated season. Sy was really soaking it up after the game. 

“Well look at you Cowboy.” I smiled waiting against my car as he walked out to his truck after everyone had cleared out. “You’re famous around here now.” 

“Nah, the boys deserve all the credit, they’re the ones putting in the work.” He said humbly. 

“I saw you celebrating you out there, You love this!” I grinned, looking up at him as he stopped right in front of me. “You’re a damn good coach, they wouldn’t be this good without you,” I put my hand on his chest and the other on his shoulder pulling him closer. 

“With a beauty like you cheering us on we’re unstoppable baby,” He said softly grabbing my belt loops and pulling me against him kissing me roughly. I let him bit my lip and slip his hands down to squeeze my ass before I pulled away and pushed him back softly with my hand on his chest. 

“Slow down Tiger, you haven’t taken me out yet remember?” I smirked. He groaned dropping his head to my shoulder breaking heavily against my neck. “Whats got you all riled up captain?

“You showing up in my hoodie, kissing me like that, acting all shy,  you’re such a tease baby,” he growled. 

“Me? And your little stunt in the hallway this week wasn’t teasing? I couldn’t focus for the rest of the day! And I couldn’t kiss you then!” I pouted. He smirked. 

“Yeah I guess that wasn’t fair was it?” He brushed my hair back away from my face and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Okay, we better get out of here before I try and take you home with me again,”

“One more day Logan, you did this to yourself!” I winked. “It’ll be worth it.” He chuckled.

“I’ll pick you up around 7:30 for dinner, the bowling thing starts at 9 is that okay?” He asked. 

I nodded “That sounds perfect Sy! I’ll see you then,” I said walking  around to the drivers side of my car and opening the door. 

“Get home safe, Text me when you get home.” He said as he got in his truck. 

“I will!”

The next day I was so anxious. Logan and I had been out together before but this was different. I could barely eat I was so nervous. I sat around trying to get some housework done, but I couldn’t even nervous clean. So I sat down and tried to get some reading done, but then there was a spicy scene in the book I was reading and, well my mind wandered to Sy and I was nervous all over again. Finally 6 o’clock rolled around and I let myself start to get ready. I pulled on a pair of tight jeans I hoped he’d like. Not that it would matter. By the end of the night I knew  they’d be off.  I put on a dark green v neck. I’ve noticed he seems to like that color. We would eventually have to switch to bowling shoes so I just put on a pair of converse and paced while I tried to figure out what to do with my hair and how much make up I should do. Then I panicked again because, Should I pack a bag? 

It’s very likely I’ll end up at his place again. Unless he doesn’t want me to stay over. I don’t want to assume. Maybe I should text him. No because I didn’t want him to know I was thinking about what we’d be doing later. But I was. And I’m sure he was. This was Ridiculous. I picked up my phone and sent a quick text. 

“Do gentlemens let their ladyfriends sleepover on the first date?” I sent. That sounds so stupid, He’s gonna think your stupid. He’s literally gonna call you and cancel the whole thing. My phone buzzed and I jumped a little lost in thought and anxiety. 

“When they’re lucky enough to have a date as sexy as you they do ;)” He replied. Okay so maybe I’m not stupid. 

“Would it be unladylike and presumptuous for me to be prepared for said occasion?” I texted back. Instead of texting my phone rang. I answered him quickly

“Hello?” I giggled. 

“Hey Darlin’ I was just getting ready to come pick you up and I was thinking, Do you wanna stay at my place tonight?” I could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“Sy,” I chuckled “You didn’t have to.” he shushed me. 

“Listen baby, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but the way we’ve been going at it this week, I figured I may as well formally ask.” He was holding back laughter.

“I’d be honored to stay with you tonight, I’ll pack a back,” I teased.  He chuckled 

“Good girl, I’ll see you in 20 baby,” we hung up and bit my lip shaking my head to myself. He was so damn cute! I finished getting ready and threw a few overnight essentials in a bag. Just as I was double checking everything there was a knock on my door. I grabbed my purse and bag and opened the door to see Sy with another bouquet of flowers and a big grin. 

“Hey gorgeous! You ready?” He smiled. I nodded. 

“Yeah! Those for me?” I blushed. 

“Told ya, Gentleman always brings flowers on the first date.” He smirked proud of himself. They were a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. 

“Your momma raised a good man!” I smiled. “They’re beautiful, I’ll go put these in some water and we can go!” After I found a vase and set them on the counter next to last nights flowers we left for dinner. He took me to a local burger joint. It reminded me of one of the restaurants in Grease. He’d genuinely put thought into this! We ate dinner and even shared a milkshake. 

“You’re such a dork!” I laughed when he leaned across the table to take a sip. 

“You like it or  you wouldn’t keep me around,” He joked. 

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” He laughed and his eyes flickered to my lips. 

“Hold still sugar,  you got a little something,” He took his thumb and swiped the ice cream off my bottom lip and then brought it to his lips sucking it off. I swallowed hard and bit my lip “Got it,” He winked. 

“Mmhmm, you did,” I stuttered. 

After he paid for dinner he drove us to the bowling alley and we got set up on a lane for the night. We also got a little wrist band for the bar. “I”m gonna go get a beer sugar you want anything?” He asked. 

“I’ll take a wine cooler, whatever they got!” I smiled. I set up our screen putting our names on the board and started our first game. I felt him wrap his arm around my waist and he pulled me close pressing a kiss to my neck. 

“You ready?” he asked handing me my drink? I nodded biting my lip and trying to control my breathing. I didn’t want him to know how easy it was for him to make me lose my mind. He chuckled and kissed my cheek letting go of me and picked up his ball.

Sy was up first and I watched as he stepped up to the lane. He drew his arm back and let the ball come forward dropping it perfectly in the middle He hit all but two pins in the far left. Of course he was good at this. “Damn Sy, I didn’t realize you were a professional at every sport.” I joked. He chuckled. 

“A couple buddies and I used to play on a league in high school. It’s been a while.” He picked up his ball again when it came back through and stepped up to the line again and it spiraled down and curved perfectly knocking down the last pins.  “Guess I still got it!” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my drink. I grabbed my ball and stepped up to the line. Well, I’ve made myself look stupid before and he’s still here so, here’s to embarrassing myself! I threw the ball and it dropped hard immediately rolling toward the right gutter. I sighed heavy and dropped my head in shame. I could hear Logan trying not to laugh. 

“Shut up,” I said when I turned around waiting for my ball. 

“That was a good try,” He snickered. 

“I’ll get the next one!” I said confidently. I did not. This one rolled more to the left skated along the edge and knocked down two pins. I winced but laughed at myself when I turned around. 

“You hit em that time!” I laughed. 

“We can’t all be perfect like you Sy!” I joked. He shook his head his chest shaking with laughter. 

“I can help you if you want,” He smiled sweetly. I wasn’t going to give into him that easily. Not yet. 

“No! I can do it,” I said stubbornly.  He just laughed. We went on like that for a while. The next turn He bowled a strike. I knocked down 4. He picked up another spare. I got 6. He got another strike. I threw another gutterball. When it was my turn again I downed the rest of my drink and stood up grabbing the ball. I walked up to the line and stood their for a second. I stared at the pins and the turned back towards Sy and pouted. 

“Okay I give up, help,” He smiled standing up from the table and walked up behind me. 

“Come here baby, Stand a little more to the right of center.” He moved us over and grabbed my hip so I was completely pressed against him. He slowly ran his hand down my arm gently grabbing my wrist. Guiding it back to show me how to throw the ball. He was saying something but I honestly couldn’t hear the instructions he was giving over my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “Just like that and let it go okay.” he smiled. I nodded and he guidded me again helping me throw the ball. This time I knocked down all but one. “Thats my girl!” He said spinning me around and kissing me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders kissing him back. He pulled away quickly and smiled. “I knew you could do it.” We finished the first game and of course Sy had Won. He got me another drink and he switched to water so he could drive us home.  The second drink was starting to hit and I kept calling him over to help me and teasing him by pressing my ass against him everytime he was behind me. At the end of the last game he was behind me helping me throw again. I was definitely a little buzzed. 

I pressed my ass against him grinding against him to  whatever song was playing on the old jukebox. But he was done with my teasing. He growled in my ear squeezing my hip tight. And after I let go of the ball he turned me around crashing his lips to mine. I smirked when we pulled away. “What do you think you’re doing darlin, hmm?” he smirked.

“Just having fun Sy,” I ran my hand down his chest and his stomach. He grabbed my wrist stoppinig me before I could get any further. I pouted. “Buzzkill,” He shook his head. 

“You’re in for it when we get home darlin, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,” we left the bowling alley and got back in the truck. I was  so excited for him to get us home. 

“Such a naughtly little girl teasing me in public like that. You like misbehaving don’t you,” He growled when we were on the main road back home. His hand had been on my thigh the whole drive. His fingertips softly massaging the inside. 

“I think you like it when I do,” I teased. I reached over and ran my had across his lap and smirked when I felt the bulge in his jeans. I playfully squeezed him and he cursed under his breath. 

“What am I gonna do with you.” He groaned. He pulled into his drive way and threw it into park. He jumped out and ran to my side of the truck. I had just enough time to unbuckle my seatbelt before he pulled me out and threw me over his shoulder. 

“Sy!” I laughed. He smacked my ass. 

“You asked for this sugar!”  He carried me into the house and took me straight to his bedroom. He dropped me on the bed and flipped me over onto my stomach. I squealed playfully as he pulled down my jeans and panties tossing them to the side. “You wanna be a brat and misbehave. You’re gonna learn baby.” He brought his hand down with a loud smack on my ass. “Bad girls get punished.” I could feel myself dripping already. God it was like he was straight out of a romance novel. But he was real. This was happening. He gave a hard slap to the other cheek and I whimpered. He rubbed over it soothing it gently. “You like this don’t you, when I take control?” I moaned inresponse. 

“Words sugar,” He smacked my ass again and I yellped not ready for it. 

“Yes Sir!” I choked out. 

“That’s my good girl, now stay just like that, Ive been dying to bend you over all week.”  I heard him unzip his jeans and then felt him press the head of his cock against my folds. He didn’t give me time to adjust this time. He just slammed into me. 

“Fuck Sy!” I moaned as he started a relentless pace. He tangled his fingers in my hair as he fucked me from behind pulling me up against his chest. 

“I love when your like this, when you’re so needy for me. You’ve been aching for my cock all week. And You’d do anything to get it.” I blushed. Fuck he was right. I moaned as he thrusted harder. 

“Say it,” he growled in my ear. 

“Mm fuck I need your cock Logan,” I moaned. I heard him groan and felt his fingers pressing against my clit as he reached around to help me reach my climax. 

“I know baby, and you needed me to make you cum didn’t you, I’m gonna let you cum baby all you have to do is ask.” It felt so fucking good. He was so intense. His words his motions. The things he was doing to me was too much. 

“Please Sy,” I begged.

“Please what baby?” He smirked as his thrusts became sloppy. I groaned feeling it build up inside me. 

“Please let me cum!” I moaned. He Pushed me back down so my face was against the mattress and grabbed my hips thrusting into me. 

“Let go baby, I gotcha, I’m right here baby, cum for me. “ his name tumbled from my lips as my walls clenched around him and I reached my climax. He wasn’t far behind. A few more thrusts and he was cumming inside me. Growling in my ear telling me how good I was. 

“Fuck,” He breathed pulling out and laying on the bed next to me. He pulled me on top of him, combing his fingers through my hair. “Well, I’d say that went well,” He smirked. I shook my head trying to catch my breath. 

“You’re an idiot.” I laughed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[lesbiankimdahyun]

new match, part iv

2.3K words

CW: A/B/O dynamics, GP

[Sub!A!Mina x O!Reader]

As soon as you both had a free weekend, you made plans to see Mina again. In the week leading up to it, though, you could barely focus at work. You weren’t even working out of the JYPE studios, but you still kept looking around more than usual just in case you caught a glimpse of the Alpha. 

Somi, who had landed a background dancer role with you for NewJeans’ comeback, was excited to hear your updates during breaks. 

“So when are you seeing her again?” she said, looking at you in the mirror while she redid her ponytail. 

“Saturday,” you replied. “She asked about Friday and I could have made it work, but I didn’t want to be rushing over to her place after practice, you know?”

Somi’s eyebrows went up as she smirked. “Mmmhmm. But come on, haven’t you been seeing each other for a minute now? You want to see her too, so why delay?” 

“Because,” you said, pausing to tear open a granola bar, “This is…different.” 

“Different how? Oh, go ahead,” Somi said, giving you a few seconds to chew. 

“She–” you paused, “She wants me to spend the night.” 

Somi let out a squeal that made the rest of the dancers glance over curiously. “Sorry!” she whispered, letting you whack her arm. “But oh my god?! Wait, haven’t you already spent the night?”

“No!” you answered, trying to fan yourself a little and rid yourself of the mortified blush that had taken over your face. “I’m kind of scared she’s going to change her mind.” 

“She won’t,” Somi said, handing you your water bottle when you finished with your snack. “I just know it.” 

When Saturday afternoon rolled around, Somi’s prediction proved to be true. You almost wished she was with you for moral support while you waited for Mina to let you into her apartment. Instead, it was just you and your small overnight bag.

As soon as Mina opened the door for you, though, your nerves faded. 

************************************************************************

“Do you trust me?”

You were in Mina’s bedroom now after a heavy makeout session on her couch. The two of you made it to her bedroom, but the clothing on the top half of your body didn’t.  

Mina nodded, and you smiled smugly. “Then sit, please,” you said. 

Mina sat at the edge of her bed, bare from the waist up, and watched you sink down onto your knees before her. 

This wasn’t the original plan. Initially, the two of you had discussed making dinner together again and going from there, but Mina didn’t last long before her mind wandered. When you turned around earlier in the kitchen to hand her a glass of wine and caught her staring at your ass, you mentally accepted that dinner was going to be late. 

You took a moment to eye her hungrily while she sat back on the bed for you. “Look how hard you are already,” you said. “And I haven’t even touched you yet.” 

Mina shifted her weight on the bed, an unmistakable erection poking up from under her pants. Wordlessly, your hands moved up her thighs. You took your time, making her breath hitch slightly when you made your way to her belt. You undid it slowly, along with her pants’ button and zipper. But this time, before going any further, you stood up, sliding her belt out of her pants wrapping it up in your hand.

Mina swallowed thickly as you moved onto the bed, settling behind her. Leaning down, you used one hand to move her hair away from her neck while the other reached for her hand. Kissing your way up from her neck to her jaw, you worked swiftly to use the Alpha’s own belt to tie her hands behind her back. 

“There,” you said, moving out from behind her. 

Standing before her again, you took her face in your hand. The changed power dynamic made both of your scents grow stronger. You inhaled deeply, then used your index finger to lightly lift Mina’s face, just beneath her chin. 

“Did you miss me, jagi?” you purred. 

You both knew she had. Ever since the night you came over to cook for her, Mina had made it very clear she wanted to see you again. After you had set a day and time, the text conversation between the two of you quickly moved on to more explicit topics. 

During the week, Mina’s texts were the only ones you read and replied to right when they came in. You were now well versed– only on paper, for now– in Mina’s likes and dislikes, hard limits, desires and fantasies, among other things. You couldn’t believe some of the things she had confessed she liked, and now your Omega instincts were demanding to give in, to give her exactly what she wanted: you, holding all the power. 

“Yes,” Mina replied, closing her eyes as you cupped her over her jeans. 

Dropping swiftly to your knees, you got back between her legs. “Such a big Alpha,” you said teasingly, starting to slide her pants and boxers down. You cast them both aside on her bedroom floor. 

Realistically, you had absolutely no right to tease. The Japanese Alpha wasn’t just well endowed– she was massive, the kind of big that made you do a double take even though you’d already seen her dick before. Her size was a blatant reminder that if she really wanted to, she could wreck you. 

Next to the pile of Mina’s clothes was a smaller bag you had taken out of your overnight bag. As you reached in, Mina’s eyes widened as you pulled out a vibrator. 

“Too much?” you asked. 

“Not at all,” the Alpha breathed, eyes locked on the toy in your hand. 

You smiled mischievously. “I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you.” 

In one hand you held the toy, while the other reached up to give Mina’s cock some attention. She let out a heavy breath as you worked her up a bit in your hand, wanting to give her a bit of time before introducing the vibrator. When Mina’s cock twitched on its own, you decided she was ready. 

The Alpha’s eyes followed your hand as you finally brought the vibrator up between her thighs. 

“Don’t worry baby,” you cooed, turning the toy onto a low setting, “I’ll go slow.” 

The second her cock and the toy connected, Mina let out a whine. You knew the Alpha was shy about coming fast with you and wanted to see how long she’d last if you took your time teasing her. 

For the next half hour or so, all you did was edge her while you asked her things about her week. At first, the Alpha was stoically frustrated. Mina did her best to keep her voice level when she answered your questions and keep her hips still. She did well at first, but after more than 30 minutes of slowly and meticulously working her up again and again with no release, Mina’s desire was stronger than her self consciousness, and she began to break. 

“C-can I come soon?” she asked, her breathing uneven. Her scent flooded the room and it was affecting you, too. You were wet now, but not quite done with the pretty Alpha in front of you. 

You turned the vibrator off. “Ready to come for me already?” you asked, taking the toy away. You switched to using your mouth instead, licking long, agonizing stripes up her stiff shaft while you lightly squeezed her balls. 

Mina looked nearly ready to howl in frustration. Her arms jerked against the restraint of the leather belt, wanting nothing more than to push your head down so she could feel your mouth on her. 

Picking up on what she wanted, you obliged, allowing Mina’s length into your mouth. You began to suck her off, but this time, on your terms. Any time she tried to buck her hips up to slide more of her cock into your mouth, you’d stop and pull away, reducing Mina to a whimpering, squirming mess in a matter of minutes. 

“Color?” you murmured, running your thumb over her leaking, flushed tip. 

“Green,” Mina said distractedly. The Alpha was thinking only with her cock now as her hips tried to thrust frantically into your hand. “Y/N…” she whined, throwing her head back when you slowed your movements yet again. You had taken her to the brink of coming and denied her twice now. 

“Y/N,” she said again, her breathing a bit more ragged. You were surprised she hadn’t growled out of frustration by now. “P-please, please can I come?” 

Still nestled between her legs, you jacked Mina off slowly with your hand while you pretended to think about it for a few moments. 

“Yes,” you said. “You’ve been so good for me, haven’t you? Okay jagi, how do you want to come? Should I get you off with my hand?” 

The Alpha closed her eyes for a moment as you moved your hand up her length, more of Mina’s precum making its way onto your fingers. 

“Or maybe I should use my mouth?” You moved in closer, kissing her tip softly.

Mina nodded eagerly, making you chuckle.

“Oh, is that what you want?” you asked. “And here I was going to offer to let you finish in me.” 

The Alpha sat straight up, practically trembling at the idea. “W-wait,” she said, “I changed my mind.” 

“To…?” you asked, feigning confusion. 

“To–” Mina stuttered. Her eyes darted off to the side, then down to her length in your hand, then up at you, her dark eyes pleading. “To…you.” 

You stopped what you were doing and sat back on your knees. “I’m gonna need you to be more specific, baby. Use your words.” 

Mina blushed, clearly torn between her own embarrassment and what she really wanted. You licked your lips while you waited patiently for her to gather the courage to speak. 

“I- I want to come in you,” she said, dropping her gaze low in a subtle act of submission. “Please,” she added quickly, looking up

“So polite, Minari,” you purred. “But how badly do you want it?” 

You got up, nudging Mina a bit farther back on her bed. You let her watch as you removed the rest of your remaining clothes piece by piece. Her cock twitched against her body. 

“C’mon baby,” you cooed, “I’ll untie you if you beg for me. Wouldn’t it feel so much better if you could touch me? Tell me.” 

Mina nodded eagerly. “Y-yes,” she said, “Please– please let me touch you, please let me be in you. Wanna be in you.” 

You granted part of her wish. You carefully released the Alpha from the belt. Your scent was just as strong as the Alpha’s now, and Mina’s eyes darkened as soon as you got close enough for her to grab. She quickly pulled you onto her lap, nudging your legs apart so you’d straddle her. 

Her sudden actions surprised you. “Look at you,” you teased. “So ready to fill me up, hmm?” You brought Mina’s hands to your waist and lowered yourself a little. Reaching behind you for the Alpha’s cock, you teased her one last time, brushing the head against your slick folds. 

When Mina nodded again, you guided her inside you and leaned in close to her. “Do it, then,” you commanded. 

Mina nearly came the moment you finally, finally sank down onto her stiff, aching cock. A cry fell from her lips immediately and her grip on your waist tightened. Lying on her back now, Mina held your hips still so she could pound up and into you, too desperate to entertain the idea of letting you ride her. 

You let out a satisfied moan, sinking your body a little lower so Mina’s cock could hit you deeper. You held onto her to help you balance, your bodies quickly intertwining. 

Neither one of you could hold back now. Mina’s moans and grunts became some of your new favorite sounds, and to your delight, the Alpha responded to your pants and whines by fucking you harder. 

Mina was even better than you’d imagined. The second she plunged into you, you nearly fell over from pleasure. Her length filled you perfectly and your cunt throbbed around her, making her thrust even harder. 

The Alpha growled now, her fingernails digging into your skin. Her hair stuck to her face and a sheen of sweat covered her forehead from the effort of chasing her own release. Y/N,” she gasped. “C-can I really c-come in you?”

“Yes,” you breathed, struggling to stay upright the longer Mina pounded you. “Make me yours, Alpha.” 

The way you said the word made Mina’s low growl turn into a sudden snarl, sending a shiver down your spine. Pulling you down onto her cock, you felt a rush of warmth fill you as came with a gasp, spilling her load deep inside of you.

You nearly collapsed on top of her, but she caught you and helped you lie down facing her. She remained inside you while the two of you caught your breath. Mina leaned in to kiss your neck, scenting you lightly as she did so. When she could finally pull out, you both gasped softly at the feeling. 

“Did you just scent me?” you asked weakly, touching your neck. 

The Alpha blushed. “Sorry,” she said, but you shook your head. 

“That’s cute,” you said, lightly pinching her cheek in your fingers. As your mind cleared, you realized how much time must have gone by and you sat up a little. “We should eat,” you said. “You’ve gotta be hungry, I can get started on dinner.” 

Mina frowned, sitting up next to you. “But you didn’t come.” 

You ran a hand through Mina’s long, dark hair. “Well then maybe after dinner,” you said, leaning in to kiss her soft lips, “You should put that pretty mouth to work for me.” 

[heroesfan101]

Love & Lore's: Autumn Sweater Event

5 + 1 (The 5 times you borrow Miyuki Kazuya’s hoodie and the 1 time he borrows yours)

A/N: Hi y'all! Super excited to post this fic for @love-and-lore and their Autumn collab event. When the theme was announced as sweaters, this idea immediately came to mind. Hoodies count as sweaters right 😅 Please note this does include a female reader and pet names (babe, sweetheart).

Word Count: 2.4k

1. Running late to work

Monday. Most people’s least favorite day of the week. Weekends came and went faster than expected. And while Kazuya tried to get you to prep for the upcoming week during the weekend, you preferred spending your time with him and indulging in your hobbies.

It is also noted that he tried to get you to break the habit of leaving your jackets on the back of your dining room chairs. Both, however, were a moot point but soon would cause your downfall.

“Shoot I’m going to be late!” You curse under your breath as you scurry around the apartment in an effort to get your belongings together. Lunch, check. Purse, check. What am I missing? My business jacket! I have a presentation today, can’t forget that.

Checking your watch, your eyes widen in shock. Crap I have to hurry or I’ll miss my train!

Without a second thought, you grab the jacket from the back of a chair before rushing out the door, not even having enough time to wake your boyfriend up with a kiss like usual. Folding it over your purse, you rush out of the house, determined to make your train on time.

Luckily, you board the train and get to work right in the knick of time, much to your delight. However, once you settle yourself, your phone buzzes twice and you look to see a message from Kazuya including a picture.

“Good morning. If you wanted to give me something to wear, we could have talked about it. Maybe I’m not the only one who needs glasses, think you got a little mixed up.” You bypass his sleepy morning smile and your heart drops as you see him holding up your blazer. Your eyes flash down to your purse and sure enough you took his navy blue hoodie. A deep sigh escapes your body as you text back.

“I’m sorry Kazuya. Seems you’ve proven your point on being prepared for the week ahead -_-" ” With a bit of embarrassment, you ask one of your peers to borrow their blazer for your presentation.

2. Grocery shopping

Milk. Eggs. Bread. Tofu. Salmon. One by one, Kazuya and you start loading up the car with your groceries. You were more focused on how to pack up the trunk of your car until Kazuya stopped to look up at the sky, light and dark gray swirls reflecting on his glasses.

“Hmmm. We better move quickly. Looks like the rain is coming sooner than expected.”

“Say less!” The couple moves double time to pack up their items and start getting on their way home. While they’re able to get home in good time, the stormy weather was faster as the sky opened up as they parked.

“Scared of a little rain are you?” He teases as he shifts the gear into park.

“You know I’m not, I just don’t like getting wet.”

“Didn’t know my girlfriend was a cat.” Kazuya continues, causing you to narrow your eyes at him.

“Just for that I should make you bring in the groceries yourself.” You sass.

“Ah ah no need to be like that, sweetheart. I thought you loved me? What happened to doing things together?” He chuckles with a snarky grin.

“We could but not if you’ll be a jerk about it.” You pout playfully, causing him to laugh.

“You know I could bring it in myself, right?”

“I know but you know I love proving you wrong. Luckily, I’m already prepared.” Reaching past him in the back seat, you pull out one of his black hoodies. Grabbing the bottom of the hoodie, you work your body through it until it swallows you whole.

He laughs yet again, “Well alright then, partner. We’ll get a nice warm shower after this.” Both of you brace yourselves before rushing out into the rain.

3. Feeling sick

“Achoo! Achoo!” Your body seizes before relaxing again. The door to the guest room opens up and in walks Kazuya with a steaming bowl of soup. You sit up, reaching for a tissue to soothe your sniffling nose.

“Babe! You could have left it outside; I would have gotten it. I don’t want you to get sick too.” Kazuya shakes his head but it’s easy to tell he’s frowning behind his mask.

“It’ll be fine. This is just to make sure you eat some of the soup while it’s hot. I’ll be fine like this.” He assures you before setting up a tray so you can eat. Throwing your tissue away, you shift to the edge of the bed to see the biggest bowl of soup.

“Kazuya, this is a lot of soup. You don’t expect me to eat this in one go right?”

His eyes narrow before softening, “It would be ideal but eat as much as you can. It’s a family recipe.”

Your ears perk up at that, “Oh? From who?”

He grins, “From me. I got sick one time and created my miraculous soup. I was five times better the next day after eating it. All in one go might I add.”

You shake your head, “It would be from you,” but then a weak grin appears on your lips, “but if you’re sharing it with me, guess that makes me family.”

For once, you catch Miyuki off guard with that as his cheeks are a touch pink. You both had talked about marriage as a real possibility but were talking things slowly as to not rush things along. Normally, he’s the tease between the two of you but he doesn’t mind your teasing every once in a while. He chalks up this boldness to your weakened immune system.

“Yeah yeah yeah. Enough talk, time to eat. I’ll leave you to it.” He starts to go when you grab at his sleeve. He turns back around to see the prettiest pout on your lips.

“I know you have to go but for the record, I hate this. Only seeing you for a few moments here and there, it's not fair. Can’t I at least have something of yours to help me out?” Kazuya starts to tease you but just sighs instead. He’d have plenty of time to tease once you’re healed.

“Since you like hoodies so much you can have this one.” He grins before taking off his gray hoodie and handing it over. You take it happily and bring it to your face, eager to convince your nose to start working so you can at least catch a whiff of his cologne.

“Thanks Kazuya.” You smile, placing it on your lap before diving into your soup. His eyes crinkle softly before he leaves you with his soup and his hoodie.

4. Borrowing Stealing his gift

The door to the apartment opens, causing you to look around the corner from your spot on the sofa. “Hey, welcome back! How was it meeting up with Sawamura and Okumura?”

He chuckles, “It was fun. I swear Sawamura hasn’t changed at all since our time in high school. Okumura seems a lot more confident than before, surely because he had the best teacher.” Kazuya laughs, causing you to shake your head before noticing something in his hands.

“Oooh, what’s that? Is that a new hoodie I see? Red too?”

He holds it to his chest protectively, “Yes, as the amazing senpai I am, they got me a hoodie as a thank you. Also probably because I told them I’m living with a hoodie thief so you’re not allowed to touch this one.” Your face blanches, no he didn’t!

“I am not a thief! A borrower maybe but no thief!” You declare passionately, refusing to accept his slander no matter how true it was.

His eyes narrow at you skeptically, “Oh yeah? Where’s my black hoodie? What about the navy blue one?” He asks rapidly, letting you know that he’s apparently been keeping track but you’re quick to defend yourself.

“They’re all in the closet!”

And then he goes in for the kill, “On who’s side of the closet?”

You blush and look away, “That’s irrelevant.”

Kazuya laughs loudly, “Yeah that’s what I thought. Gotcha this time, sweetheart.” He walks by you with a grin as you decide to turn back to your tv show, knowing you’ve lost this time.

It isn’t until later when you’re sure that Kazuya is fast asleep, that you find the hoodie folded neatly on his side of the closet. Your hands gently pick up the hoodie and bring it to your face, admiring how soft it was. Yeah, I’ll have to take this.

In your admiration, you notice a piece of paper fall out of the front pockets. Picking it up curiously, you read the note in Kazuya’s handwriting, “Hands off my hoodie.”

Your eyes widen before scoffing at his note. Feeling crafty, you decide to switch out one of your red jackets with his new hoodie, even going so far as to put his note in one of the pockets.

Laughing evilly to yourself, you stash the hoodie in one of your drawers and slide back into bed beside Kazuya, satisfied with yourself. So much so, you don’t notice the grin he has on his face even in his “sleep”.

5. Ice cream spills

“This was a great idea! It’s always nice to get a workout in the park with you. Appreciate you taking it easy on me, babe.” You smile, deciding to catch your breath on the park bench. He smiles at you gently. Of course he wasn’t breaking a sweat but doing light workouts with you on the weekend was a nice way to spend time together.

“Of course. You did well and we passed an ice cream stand. How about I reward you for your hard work hmm?” Kazuya asks, knowing ice cream was certainly a weakness of yours. Immediately, your face lights up and before you can say the words, he smiles and heads off to the stand.

A few minutes later, he returns with two ice cream cones and hands you yours with a gentle smile. You thank him sweetly before diving in. And in the enjoyment of your ice cream, you spill some on your shirt.

“Seems you enjoyed yourself a little too much huh?” He chuckles, causing you to groan.

“Shut up.” You say playfully, before handing him your ice cream so you can remove your shirt. Luck favors the prepared it would seem and you already had a tank top underneath.

Folding up your shirt, you turn to get your ice cream from him, delighted to have your cold, sweet treat back. Unbeknownst to you, there was more than just your boyfriend's eyes on you.

Now normally, Kazuya isn’t a jealous person. He loves being able to show you off but only when he wants to.

Unfortunately, he’s too perceptive for his own good. Once, twice he noticed a few of the park joggers were enjoying the view and it wasn't nature. Tch, you heard the annoyed sound escape his lips.

“Something wrong?” You ask innocently. He hands you his ice cream and takes off his dark green hoodie.

“We were just working out. It’s not good for you to expose your body to so much air. Don’t want you getting sick again.” He says gently as he places the hoodie on your lap and takes the ice cream cones. A small smile graces your lips as you put on the hoodie.

“Thanks babe.” Cold lips press quickly against his warm cheek before going back to the ice cream. The next time the joggers pass by, he grins cockily.

“Show’s over.” Kazuya mouths to them.

1. The thief becomes the victim

Oftentimes, Kazuya has training camps all over the country to train as one does when they’re a professional athlete. While usually, you could rearrange your schedule to be close by, this was one of those times where he was going too far (aka outside of the country). This time, he would be away in America for an international training camp. So while you couldn’t be with him this time around, you both made sure to at least message or call.

It was halfway through his trip when you were able to hop on a video call with him.

“How’s the camp going?” You asked curiously, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“It’s going well. It’s been interesting to meet global stars and see them play. How are you doing?” He smiled, a little weary after a long day’s camp.

“I’m doing good. Work has been keeping me busy but I wish I could be with you instead. Don’t get a big head but I do miss you.” Kazuya smiles softly at that, the one true smile only reserved for you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back home before you know it.”

“That’s good. Still not soon enough though. That said, something weird must be going on.” You say as you shake the phone as you go to prop it up on your dresser, giving him a view of you from the waist up.

Kazuya raises an eyebrow as he sees you searching the bedroom, “What’s going on?”

“I can’t find my sky blue hoodie! I just got some workout pants that match the color perfectly and now I can’t find it. Did you see it when you were doing laundry?”

The corners of his lips attempt to straighten even though they curve up a bit, “Nope I haven’t seen it.” There’s a light tone in his voice that makes you slightly suspicious. Looking back at the camera, you see something behind him sticking out.

“Kazuya, could you move to the left for a second?” You request curiously, causing the mirth to show his eyes.

“Why? What are you after?” He asks playfully, but the second he moves an inch your eyes widen in disbelief.

“Is that my hoodie? The exact one I’m looking for?”

“Can’t be.” He easily denies. You roll your eyes and exclaim, “I know what my hoodie looks like!”

But then the reality of the situation sinks in, “Awww you miss me! It’s okay to admit it, Kazuya. I just didn’t expect you to steal my hoodie.” You sweetly tease him, making him blush a little as he tries to cover it up with a scoff.

“Of course I miss you, we do spend every day together.” You giggle, “Look at you being cute. I guess I’m happily in love with a hoodie thief of my own.”

He laughs, “Consider this payment for all the times you took my hoodies.”

“Sure sure, but I will always prefer you over your hoodies.” You claim causing him to smile.

“I sure hope so. You’ll have the real thing once I’m back home.” Kazuya promises, filling both of your hearts with warmth.

[genocidehim]

Ven conmigo (Nacho Varga x reader)

I don't know what this is, I wrote it yesterday at 3am and was feeling the need for something sad with that man.

notes: one-shot, angst. words: 710

Normally, you wouldn't receive his calls in the middle of the night during the week. Nacho knew you would be very tired during these hours and preferred to wait until the next morning or the weekend, but he decided to break his peace treaty against your sleep schedule and called you at two in the morning.

He babbled things on the phone and asked you to see him. In response to your tired reply, you invited him to your house and waited for it to not be anything problematic.

Now he was in your arms on the couch in your living room, so quiet that you could only hear his heavy breathing and the beating of your heart. He seemed much more tired than you and that was enough for you not to ask.

Both of you had a complicated relationship, nothing was formal and you knew perfectly well that he was involved in things that put him in constant danger, you knew that when you saw him injured more than once, but you didn't ask and he appreciated that. In some way, you were a breath of fresh air from all the crap he endured day in and day out, and he was good company for you after the monotony of the week. Although curiosity was eating away at you, you didn't want to ask. You just stayed silent, observing him while running your fingers over his smooth, bronzed skin, feeling his body heat on top of you. It was a beautiful sight from your perspective, how a man so big and robust could feel so small in your arms, and how his broad hands held your back with affection and a little bit of pressure.

Nacho's face was nestled in your neck, and you could feel his warm breath tickling you. If it were any other situation, you would be so hot that you could set your house on fire, but you didn't want to break the comfort that both of you had because of your lust.

"I'm sorry for waking you up so late..." his soft voice drowned in the hollow of your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

"Don't worry, it's Saturday tomorrow...well, today." You chuckled, and you could feel him smiling in response. Nacho tried to get up from his comfortable position, and although he remained in your arms, he looked at you with a certain melancholy that you could only find in his eyes. He looked sadder than usual today.

Before you could even formulate another word, his lips met yours, and you felt a certain need in them. Surprised, you held onto his biceps, and he took your face in his hands, feeling the warmth in the palm of his hands, which made you close your eyes. His lips moved eagerly, as if trying to take your entire mouth to savor it. He even felt too needy just before taking a step back to observe you for a few seconds while continuing to distribute short, small kisses before finishing.

"I need you to come with me..." "Go where?" you asked with confusion, unable to process everything that was happening clearly.

"Anywhere, irnos a donde sea…" and you could feel how his words felt sadder than usual, making your heart ache to see him so vulnerable. "If the time comes, I want to leave here with you and my father."

You didn't quite understand what he was asking for or why he suddenly seemed so anxious for an answer. You sensed it was only tiredness and desperation, as Nacho didn't usually talk like this or even hint that he needed you in this way, so you didn't want to make too much of it.

"If that time comes… I'll accompany you" you vaguely promised without much sincerity. Although the idea that he could see you at the same level of importance as his father made you happy, he was asking for something too impossible.

"Please..." he pleaded with that sad look that he only gave to you, and his long lashes fell until his eyes closed completely. Then he lay back on his shoulder and sighed tiredly.

A man so tough was lingering in your arms, and you didn't know what to do.

[bitchlessdino]

hey nana, just had this thought. how do you think chan would react for seeing you braless? like hear me out. it's just one month since you're relationship and you're too busy to spend time together or be intimate with eachother. recently you've had long 2 weeks going out on many occasions, wearing all tight formal attires. and finally both of you had a leave, deciding to spend it with him. you're tired as hell and even wearing bra made you feel so suffocating, so you decided to remove it and wear nothing but tank top. how do you think he'd react?

(ignore this if i made it seem uncomfortable or anything. anyways have a great day, thank you)

(warning: suggestive, heavy making out, yearning, insinuates sex)

Chan likes you, like really likes you. That's why he tolerated all the time apart. After all this waiting time for you to come around, you've finally been able to define the relationship. It didn't take long for him to count the reasons why it took you so long in the first place.

The job forces you to be social, creating countless networking opportunities, many of which occur late at night during weekdays and weekends. Safe to say you haven't had a lot of time together, but for the first time in a while, you had a free weekend, and who better to spend it with than your boyfriend.

He smells just as good as you remember. His embrace was warm and welcoming like a warm cup of your favorite herbal tea and you can't help but inhale him the moment you arrive. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. This weekend was all I was looking forward to this week. I was starting to think I dreamt we got together a month ago."

You chuckle into his chest and pulled away briefly to admire his features, "Definitely not a dream. I'm all yours. I can't wait to spend all weekend with you. Speaking of which, I made us some popcorn and later we can maybe door dash some takeout? I am really sick of tiny little appetizers that would only really fill up an ant."

Chan's giggles were soft and light, a fluttering feeling in your stomach as his hand comes up to pet the top of your head. "All the food you want. Ready to let it all go with you."

You were relieved to hear that and press a kiss to the tip of his nose before guiding him to the couch and getting him comfortable before you break out the snacks. He put on a little comedy action for you both to watch, remembering how you said that was your favorite genre, and grins from ear to ear seeing you return with a tray full of movie theater style treats.

You scoot yourself close to him, lacing your hand through his, testing out the intimacy levels as the familiar 20th Century studio introduction sounds off on Television. Early on, you're already enjoying yourselves, laughing, making your own small inside jokes, and reenacting some of the lines already told on screen. It was nice and relaxed for once. at some point in the night, Chan decides to put his arm over your shoulders, pulling you in closer. You flush at the closer proximity but are reminded by the jabbing feeling of the underwire confining the flesh mounted on your chest and can't help but shrug him off. Chan festers up this guilty, thinking maybe he went too far. "D-did I make you uncomfortable? Sorry."

"Oh, no. It's just, this bra sucks. I was wearing it for errands earlier and should've taken it off. Give me a sec."

You scoot over to the side, giving yourself space. You part the buttons from your cardigan and you tug it right off, your shoulders and arms exposed. Chan gets faint blush realizing what you're about to do and before he could suggest giving you some privacy, you do that magical thing people with breasts do and slip it right from the tank top, revealing a cute nude patterned bra in your grasp he then can't help but notice your breasts naturally dropping from the power of gravity, your nipples plump and poking through the thin material and automatically, he crosses his legs, unable to meet your eyes.

"I'm just gonna put this away. I'll be right back. Keep watching the movie."

You leave him briefly to be alone in his thoughts, thinking how probably soft they would be in his hands or how warm they are pressed up against his face. He twitches in his sweatpants, clenching his legs tighter against each other. "Dead puppies, burning buildings, the Holocaust."

He mumbles to himself distasteful, horrific, and unpleasant things, begging and pleading for this boner to go away. He would have nothing more than to have a relaxed night after all the tiring work both of you have gone through these past few weeks but it had a mind of its own. He had no choice but to use to throw a pillow on his lap, seeing as you've already come back, still in only a tank top nonetheless. You take his arm and throw it back on your shoulders like nothing's happened, attention back on the movie, while Chan could think of anything but the movie.

You notice the tension in his body all too quickly, watching how hard he clutches that pillow or how he blatantly avoids contact with your chest. You grin to yourself, thinking your little act has caused him to malfunction. You draw lips closer to his ear, hearing him gulp the moment your breast brushed up against his arm, and whispered, "Something wrong?"

To which, he ferociously shakes his head, tight-lining his smile no less awkward than you expected him to. You then take your hand to cup the side of his face and press your lips to his, moving it gentle and slow. He eagerly reciprocates, kissing your lips with the vigor of a horny teenager but the hesitancy of a respectful partner, parting as soon he got a taste and returning to not overstepping invisible boundaries he's set for himself, leaving your kiss sweet but curt. You couldn't have it. You reconnect your lips as soon as possible and even run your fingers through his undone hair, unwilling to let go. Chan takes the hint soon enough and comes undone from your touch, hands falling to your hips and pulling you towards him.

Your body heats at the raw intensity Chan unleashes, crawling on top of his lap and bordering either of his sides with your knees, pushing your chest back against him and feeling his moans vibrate throughout your mouth. His hands roam through your body, tracing over your shape, drawing it out in his head, and in a second take away that control to cup your hands over his against your breasts, encouraging him to feel you, savor you, want even the most intimate part of you and how can he say no?

He fondles them gently in his hands, clenching and unclenching to grasp their weight and pillowy sensation, all for him to have them pool between his fingers, teasing your perky nipple between the crevices. You softly whimper, grinding against the constricted snake in his pants like your own personal toy, feeling him grow only bigger every passing second. Chan grunts in every break of the kiss, containing himself as humanly possible, before breaking your liplock and looking into your eyes, a look for approval. "Bedroom?"

"No," You smile shaking your head, "I want you to take me here, on the couch."

[leclerking]

I’m sorry but they haven’t. Kelly just went to her sisters wedding which Max couldn’t attend cause he had a race on Sunday and by the time he reached Brazil so many events he would have missed plus so much Jet Lag.

He is still liking all photos relating to the wedding. Plus if he wasn’t waiting for Kelly to get back, he would have already left for the holidays .

These haters are always saying they are breaking up just cause they are away for a week.

We will as it is see them together by the weekend //

Max could have well attended that wedding if he wanted to. After the race directly in his plane on his way to Brazil. They started the celebrations only Monday afternoon. Max could have made that. And he is used to jet lag. And he did travel for one of Kelly’s siblings weddings last year too. After a race weekend. And he didn’t care about jet lag then. Kelly travelled for her nieces wedding last year with p just before the wedding and left again. What makes you think any of them care about jet lag but keeping up appearances?

Max is liking the posts late. It took “him” ages to like the posts about ps birthday. And it’s known max isn’t managing his social media himself. “Max” commented and liked posts before while on camera without his phone in hand. And I’m talking racing or giving speeches without his phone in hand. Not on stream and liking things. You don’t see his hands 100% of the time there. But some of the comments “max” left on posts of Kelly is not his words at all. Saying they are a family when max denies it left and right during interviews?? That man doesn’t see them and p especially as his child.

Max is friends with Nelson jr. As weird and bad as that is too, he is friends with her siblings. He can like posts of whoever he wants, if it’s him liking it. I believe one of Kelly’s siblings still follows daniil and likes his posts and vice versa. And daniil and Kelly haven’t been together since December 2019. Because of her behaviour. The rumour that he cheated? Created by her and her family. He didn’t cheat.

Max likes being alone with his cats. He can stream, sim race and escape constant camera/paparazzi attention this way. He likes that. Why would he go alone on vacation? He isn’t Kelly that needs 10 vacations a month to have content to post and milk for weeks and months.

Well it’s weird if one partner is never seen with the other part. Kelly rather spends time everywhere else than with max. She is behaving really different this season compared to the others she was with max. She barely goes to races, she barely spends time with him, she didn’t post anything about Valentine’s Day (no flowers for her to post), she attended/followed max to Goodwood but didn’t do the same for Valentine’s Day for the launch?

Last year max would have been on the flight to Brazil immediately. This season? He couldn’t care less it looks like.

We most likely will see Kelly with max by the end of the week. Current rumours are that Kelly was seen at the airport boarding a flight by airfrance. But p is still with her family on Nelson’s farm. Which is very weird. If this is true she is leaving her daughter behind once again. Does she need to pack the bags for max to be able to fly back to Brazil with her? Because I don’t think that Kelly and max will spend the entire summer alone. They haven’t been on any vacation just the two of them. They always have at least 4 other people (friends of hers) with them. They are never alone. And I’m not even counting p in that.

We can hope for a break up. We fans want the toxicity that woman and her family brings out of maxs life and out of f1. They are simply very disgusting and need to be banned by f1.

I'm aint reading all that, but last paragraph cooked

[pfhwrittes]

Hello again from 💚💚 on this fine day!

Thank you for always answering my questions - I love seeing what people come up with for these silly little questions, and it helps distract me from the current stress of my IRL life 😵

Johnny is my fave of the 141, and I loved your niche hobby HC for him! I'm a habitual hobby cycles- do you think he's tried any of the other 141's hobbies with them??

I also though Gaz's was very fitting. Does he compose his own pieces do you think?

Do you think Simon can also knit, or does he just crochet? What does he do with all his finished pieces? I crochet, and I can never figure out what to do with the stuff I make. Specifically, I love making blankets during winter, and I'm running out of friends to give them to.

Do you have a favorite fall hobby? What about a fall specific food? I personally love going on long walks to see the trees change color. They've just started really turning this week after our first cold snap. I think I'm going to make time for a very long walk this weekend and see what colors I can spot!

hello 💚💚 anon! sorry i'm late to answer, for some reason notifications haven't been showing up in my inbox? tumblr truly is a webbed site.

i hope the stress of life eases soon for you. i'm sending you the most immaculate vibes and sending a small curse of perpetually mysteriously wet socks to the people that have upset you or caused you undue distress. may their toes be damp and their socks chafe.

...do you think [Johnny's] tried any of the other 141's hobbies with them??

oh absolutely! i think he probably took to crochet like a duck to water because it's basically just fibre arts fractals and i like to think he's the best at maths of the lot of them. however, i think he struggled with learning to play the keyboard with gaz. he's not exactly tone deaf but i think he struggles to tell the difference between some of the notes due to slight hearing loss (there's only so many times you can make something go ka-freakin'-boom before your ears give up on you - even with protection).

Does [Gaz] compose his own pieces do you think?

oooh! perhaps! i think if he has, he's kept it very close to his chest. he'll happily rearrange or cover pieces like this (the link should take you to bronwen lewis on tiktok, where she has covered "build me up buttercup").

Do you think Simon can also knit, or does he just crochet? What does he do with all his finished pieces?

i love to imagine simon hates knitting with a passion. he made a very lumpy mustard yellow scarf for soap but frogged it before he could gift it. somehow he manages to pick up and drop stitches at random or his purl row turns back into a knit row midway through.

simon absolutely drops his completed blankets off in the rec room where he knows someone will "tactically acquire" them. there are benefits to living on base and that is the fact that everyone wants one of the mystery blankets that appear overnight on the ratty little sofa.

Do you have a favorite fall hobby? What about a fall specific food?

whenever the season changes my brain turns to sunlight deprived mush so most of my hobbies come to an abrupt and untimely halt. i always want to pick up knitting again but i get frustrated. usually i end up doodling in my journal or writing just to get the urge to create out.

autumn = soup time. unfortunately soup hates me. soup is my nemesis. @/391780 is convinced my mum was cursed by a soup witch when she was pregnant with me because there is no other explanation for how i end up hurting myself (or breaking my soup making equipment) every single time i make soup.

also salmon. salmon is my autumn food. i turn into a bear (god i wish) and crave as much salmon as i can get my mitts on, NHS guidelines be damned.

i hope you have a lovely walk and get to see many many autumnal colours this weekend! it's still too green where i am, maybe next week the leaves will start to change!

[thessalian]

Thess vs That Screaming Feeling

Nope. Today is a “feel like screaming” day.

Apparently Scruffman wants us to have a backlog. I tend to think we’re doing well when the dictation queue is really low, but it finally was for the first time today and I was told to slow down on the typing insofar as was possible - basically only taking a few bits at a time instead of the great huge wodge I normally do. The thing is, I take that great huge wodge to ensure that at least some of what I’m typing is the short easy stuff. Because if I just take little snippets, I come back to the typing queue to see all of the longest ones right at the top, having been left there by the cherry-picking temp. And she was on form with that shit today. The best I could do at the end of everything was to miss the fifteen minute monstrosity she left sitting there for me. She left me with one seven-minute bit of dictation, two five-minute bits of dictation ... basically every dictation over three minutes was mine to deal with, a lot of which was this one guy who’s very loud but sounds like he’s talking through a sock. Fine. I can’t do anything about that but I can say, “Sorry; the dictation length may say 14 minute and 36 seconds but by the time I’ve skipped around, gone back to correct things by request, gone back to correct things because the sentence structure was garbage, and fixed the block key so it’s remotely readable, that’ll turn into a half-hour and guess what? I don’t have time for that shit. So I’ll just grab the urgents, thanks, and you can pick up that shit on Monday”.

Also I was told we had “all hands on deck” at the office but I didn’t see it. Violet did a couple, Milady was clearly too busy to touch any, and the other part-timer was entirely inactive even though she’s supposed to be here today. Also Goblin managed to avoid any significant typing and Temp more or less slowed to a crawl at about 4pm ... which incidentally is when Scruffman leaves the office these days. Also (and Scruffman should know this), the techs tend to send a literal deluge into the queue on a Friday afternoon. So we weren’t doing quite so well on the typing queue when I logged off for the weekend as we were when I started.

So fed up. So entirely fed up.

I did take some break time during all this to accept my grocery order, put it away in installments, and head out to take out the trash because cleaning the fridge. I’ve got another load to take out because I did some cupboard clean-out and need to empty the bathroom bin, and also take out the recycling involved in my Amazon order, which I also took some break time to accept. But I’m going to wait on that because I am in pain right now. I’ll probably get to that later. It doesn’t help that immediately after work ended, I took the time to mix some instant hot chocolate mix (mostly to clear some more cupboard and counter space) and dumped some drain cleaner in the kitchen sink because it’s been draining kind of slowly lately and I’d rather deal with that before it gets untenable. None of which helped the pain, I suppose.

Of course the problem now is this: the fridge and cupboards are full of food but I hurt too much to cook anything. Again, I’ll see how I feel in a bit, after I’ve had some actual chill time ... and done the rest of my chores, I guess. But chill time first.

The chill time is mandatory for a few reasons. It’s been a hard day. It’s been a hard week. This country is a mess and I have to live in it. I kind of want to cry but I don’t really have the energy for that either. So I’m going to make myself some hot chocolate and just veg for a little while. And I will trust that the grey in the sky will not become rain for at least an hour so I can recover a bit before taking out the bins.

[ridermatsu]

venting tiiime

i am so fucking pissed off night now. i know im barely here nowadays but this is the only place i know no one irl follows me so i need to vent.

Context: brother got married almost 2 years ago. they have an 80-lbs golden doodle puppy (1-2 years old) and had a baby in late June.

we were supposed to visit my brother in halifax (5 hrs away) this weekend coming up. then last night, mom gets a text from SIL asking us to take Murphy (their dog) until Thanksgiving. So, about a month.

Now WE have a dog. Her name is Cookie. she's a 13-year-old lhasapoo with a meat allergy. We love her, she's in pretty good health but we know she probably has another good year or two. Cookie can tolerate Murphy (they have before, we kept him for a week during Fiona and she was OK), but obviously we don't want to put too much stress on her.

So my mom says "im really sorry, but we can't take Murphy for a month". inb4 anyone asks, the in-laws can't take him because they have an elderly golden retriever who hates Murphy, so he can't stay with them for a month.

this morning, mom got a text from my brother. he said that his wife is really stressed out, with the baby and the dog, and that "company probably isn't good for this weekend". whihc translates to: "my wife is mad you wont take Murphy for a month so she doesnt want you to come sorry"

i am going. fucking insane. the absolute gall and audacity of this bitch. i dont hate SIL. but she infuriates me to my core. the entitlement.

after a small "break" they took when dating (which she blamed on my mom making naughty jokes about kitchens and rooster decorations), my parents have been walking on eggshells around her. IVE been walking on eggshells around her. we have been trying to compromise and make peace. but BY GOD is it hard to do that when you have someone who expects everything to go her way all the time.

i get she just had a baby. fuck, she even told my brother that she's been snapping at the dog for simply existing in her presence because of her postpartum rage. but my GOD as much as i love murphy they should NOT have gottwn him if they knew they were planning a baby. this wasnt an accidental baby!!! this was PLANNED!!!! and they were still like "you know what we should do? get a puppy that will grow to 80 pounds!!!"

but im not just upset with her. im upset with my brother too. because he ALSO walks on eggshells around her, he lets her walk all over him like a fucking doormat all the time. my brother loves dogs, but i dont think he realized how huge the responsibilty of raising a dog was. he also loves his son. that's his lil baby boy, of course he loves him!!! but he doesnt know how to say no to her, or talk to her. obv i dont know about their private life but from the lil glimpses ive gotten, it doesnt seem good. do i think he wanted to tell my mom not to come up this weekend because SIL is in a bad mood because we wont bend over backwards for her? no. did he still do it instead of having the important conversations about what to do about their situation? yeah. he did.

as much as it pains me to think about, i think they should rehome Murphy to someone who has the time and patience to train him and raise him well. my brother has patience but no time, and SIL has neither with a baby on her hands (and honestly i wouldnt be surprised if she just got a dog to make him happy without thinking about the consequences). because literally none of this is Murphy's fault! hes jsut a puppy! an overgrown, dumb and loveable puppy!!! i would take him in a heartbeat if i could!!! but i cant!!! because i have an elderly dog and i live with my paretns!!!!

this is not a good quality of life for him. Murphy deserves better.

[umichenginabroad]

Week 5: A Gander at Galway

Hey it's me again. Sorry this post is a tad late. I promise the only reason it's late is because I have so much cool stuff to tell you about.

Frankly, the beginning of last week was pretty uneventful with more classes and climbing. We had Monday off for St. Brigid's day, so I used that time to relax and go to the National Gallery of Ireland where I saw some great works of art by Irish and non-Irish artists. I'm hoping to go back again at some point to get a tour because frankly I don't think I was able to fully appreciate it with my silly little engineer brain. But that'll be a story for another week.

Some of my favorite pieces from the museum

On Thursday, the Mountaineering club held an event called Psych Night. Here, some members of the club who had been on cool outdoor trips related to us their grand adventures, and generally got us psyched about going outside. They also convinced me to go on their trip to Wales during the first week of our spring break, so stay tuned for more on that on week 9 of this blog (I think).

On Friday, my friend Abby and I took a train to Galway (west coast of Ireland) to check it out for the weekend. After we checked in to our hostel, we got dinner at a restaurant called Flannigan's where I got a pretty good Shepard's pie. After that we found a pub with some live traditional Irish music.

Left: An admittedly unappetizing picture of my food. I almost forgot to take it I was so hungry. Right: Trad music!

On Saturday, we did a hike to the cliffs of Moher. Instead of taking the bus all the way to the cliffs, we got off a stop early and hike pretty much from the ocean to the top of the cliffs. It was easily one of the best hikes I've ever done and the views were incredible the whole time. It took probably an hour long than it should've because we stopped to take photos so often.

Some pics from the Cliffs of Moher

After we got back to Galway that evening we were exhausted, but we still found the energy to get some good food and go to another pub for a drink.

Sunday was our last day in Galway, and we found out the hard way that small Irish towns are kind of boring on Sundays. After walking through Galway's gorgeous cathedral and doing a bit of sweater shopping, we ran out of things to do and had to kill a few hours hanging out in a burrito restaurant waiting for our 5:00 train back to Dublin.

Galway cathedral

Back in Dublin, UCD had a Super Bowl event that I went to for a bit, after which I promptly passed out, exhausted by my weekend.

This week is shaping up to be eventful with Valentine's Day events and a trip to Amsterdam over the weekend. Stay tuned!

Sam Adler

Materials Science and Engineering

[hislittleraincloud]

Sorry, but the above post's conclusion is incorrect. 🫠💀✨

In before the "Happy Birthday Wednesday" posts that will no doubt come on the 13th of this month.

Netflix Wednesday is not a Libra♎. She is a fiery Scorpio♏.

And I'm not just writing that because it benefits me and my intentions with my own story. This is all Netflix Canon (N/C) that people seem to have just...overlooked for some reason.

The events of the show take place within the span of about/just over one month,

from the beginning of October 2022 (when she attacked the water polo team/Dalton) to mid-almost late-November 2022. Five weekends of action go by:

Harvest Festival***,

Poe Cup****,

Rave'N,

Parents' Weekend, (This one is an 'off' date, if only because of the suicide note, but regardless of the 9th, the weekend is still in November.)

Mayor Walker's funeral. We know that Outreach Day was on a Wednesday, since Fabian was murdered that night, and Wednesday went to the morgue the next night and states that it's "Thursday, 7:23 P.M." into her recorder during her preliminary autopsy. Enid faints at the Bundy Board (LOL) the next day which is a Friday, etc., etc. Friday was actually a very busy day for Wednesday, no wonder she needs quads over ice. 💀

Mid-fall semester (we know it's fall/autumn because of the Harvest Festival...I grew up around these things because I'm a Masshole) is about mid-October, since the U.S. school semester starts in either late August or at the latest now is early September and ends a few days before Christmas break in December (that's not counting Thanksgiving break in late November, which is shorter and purportedly the break that's taken early). That's when Wednesday arrived at Nevermore, and the Poe Cup was the weekend after she arrived.

ETA #482637263: Outreach Day happens the week after Wednesday arrives at Nevermore. Donovan tells Noble that he "ran into [Lucas] and his friends at the Weathervane last week" on Outreach Day.

The Rave'N is a Sadie Hawkins Halloween dance, and theirs takes place the last weekend in October 2022.

The next weekend after the Rave'N is Parent's Weekend, which means the first week of November's already passed.

The suicide letter in this scene was likely misdated thanks to a very shitty props department, as it should be closer to the 4th or 5th according to character dialogue (Parent's Weekend happens a week after the Rave'N). But whatever, it is dated November 9, 2022 by the fast & loose props and editing department (and since Burton signed off on it, it's canon). Maybe props was trying to be cute because November 9th was a Wednesday.

Pretty much right after her parents leave, Enid and the Nightshades throw her the surprise birthday party in Crackstone's Crypt (beginning of Quid Pro Woe/6). It would make sense that her birthday was November 13th/Sunday, since everyone was already casual, and the next day would have been a school day, when Wednesday was up drawing the Gates Mansion gates. We also know that they asked Thing to hide her Taxidermy Kit birthday present during their visit, and the ice was still pretty cold/hadn't melted yet, so her birthday was right after they left. (Note that they didn't even acknowledge it before they left...LOL...that dynamic is something I'm exploring in my fic. I also acknowledge that for all we know, it could be ✨magic ice 🧊✨).

Things we cannot put stock into:

The actual real world Full Moon calendar, and applying it to the show's timeline. The show is a mess when it comes to this and the writers took very big creative liberties with the Full Moons. The Beaver Blood Moon, the lunar eclipse moon, happened November 8th. On the show, that "Blood Moon" was fictionalized, and happened well after the 8th. So yeah...the show's full moons do not coincide with our reality. And that's fine, it's just a feature of their world's rules. Kinda like being on Tatooine and having three moons. Perhaps the differing moon thing is intentional, given the focus on moon phases with the Nightshades' emblems:

🌚🌒🌓🌔💀🌖🌗🌘🌚

What Wednesday says about her birthday to Weems *. It was her first few hours stepping foot in Nevermore, and Wednesday was out to create an image for herself...one where she says crap for shock value/mess with people she doesn't know. She was born in mid-November, but it's quite possible her parents lied about it being Friday the 13th since November 13, 2006 was a Monday (and it probably didn't occur to Wednesday to question it). Or, Wednesday knows it's a lie and just pushes it. Regardless, Netflix canon-wise, she was born sometime after November 9th (the date of Reggie's fake suicide note). For me as a writer, it seemed to make sense to keep the day at 13 no matter where it landed, since it's obviously easier to lie to a child about which day of the week they were born ☠️

*Another example of her First Day lies (though she does continue her messed up lies throughout the show) is what she says to Enid during her tour.

Enid: Rumor's been swirling around that you killed a kid at your old school and your parents pulled strings to get you off.

Wednesday: Actually, it was two kids, but who's counting....

She didn't kill anyone. She just maimed/castrated Dalton.

I know y'all want her to be a Libra for some reason but it just doesn't work in this version of canon...or really, any version of canon if we're just talking about astrological signs. Our girl is a Scorpio...anti-social, manipulative, violent, and passionate about the things she's passionate about.

This is nowhere near N/C Wednesday's personality...even the most twisted fan fiction can't get her these unless she had a brain transplant with someone like Enid:

When I first saw the gifs and posts in this fandom back in the spring about her being a Libra I just couldn't. It's still puzzling, it's almost like the basic qualities of the signs are being ignored because everyone is neglecting to see her sarcasm for what it is (meaning that essentially, if this were a real world thing, her ruses are working to confuse).

This here embodies who N/C Wednesday is:

(Though for her, those weaknesses are her strengths.) That's just one site, I'm not an astrologer, etc., but I've known the basics since I was a kid and was interested in this crap (😂 I read a lot of weird shit when I was little).

Anyway. Sorry to tip any Libra ♎ scales. In Netflix Canon it's impossible, since she first arrived at Nevermore in mid-October.

ADD 10/13/23: Since today is the day fanon is going to rear its head, I have another tidbit: It also makes sense that Wednesday was conceived on 'the most romantic day of the year':

Gomez and Morticia probably had a really, really nice Valentine's Day. 🫠✨

***I damn near forgot about the Harvest Festival, but that only strengthens my timeline, since it just adds another weekend and would place the Rave'N on the 29th of October.

**** God, these extra notations are insane so I'm just going to have to make another whole ass post. TECHNICALLY the Poe Cup takes place on a Tuesday, unless we're adding days in between Ophelia Hall's victory and when Wednesday first goes down to the Poe Statue (like I do in my story), because Wednesday does say that Xavier "didn't seem surprised when she showed him the drawing LAST NIGHT", which means via show canon: Poe Cup & Nightshades kidnapping = Tuesday, Outreach Day/Fabian's murder = Wednesday, Wednesday at the morgue = Thursday, Wednesday asks Xavier to the Raven/gets dumped on (and Xavier gets his "last minute invitation" from Bianca) = Friday, Rave'N = Saturday. But it makes zero sense to put the Poe Cup on a random Tuesday, unless the date itself is important for it.

Wednesday's Zodiac Sign is Libra!

Investigating post...

Establishing show timeline:

1. Claim: the Year is 2022

Proof: Weems! The first Poe Cup took place in 1897 and the current one is the 125th...thus, 2022.

Now lets narrow that year down to at least a season. I say Fall!

2. Claim: The Show runs from somewhere September-ish to about late-November/Early December.

Supporting clues:

School is already in session in the first episode. Could be anywhere from first school day to several.

Undetermined time later we learn that Nevermore doesn't usually accept students mid-term implying that it's not definitely not between terms or end of school year.

Wednesday tries to escape during the Harvest Festival which is typically a Fall event.

Weather: everyone is running around in light clothes and leaves are bright green in the first two episodes, going steadily browner and yellower. SNOW in the last episode. Which means that Season 1 definitely ran before the Winter and ended with an early Winter break.

Number of full moons in show: 3

Episode 1: Why aren't you wolfing out? My guess is that this was the September full moon around mid-month because school was already in session.

Then we know that no more than a week passed between Episode 4 and 5 because in E4 Wednesday sneaks into the coroners office just before his last day (and Thing sticks bubblegum on the camera) and in E5 Reggie the coroner dies...and the Sheriff claims he saw him last week.

Episode 6: Wednesday's birthday episode and the Gates Mansion incident.

My guess is these things all happen in October because we haven't had a full moon episode since the first and the few time flags we do have indicate that only a couple of weeks could have passed since Ep1.

Episode 8: Full bloodmoon. Enid Finally wolfs out.

Logically since the Gates Mansion full moon wasn't a blood moon an entire month must have passed between Ep6 and 8 making this somewhere around November which matches the weather signals.

3. Claim: Wednesday could only have been born on 13th October 2006.

Now this is just math. We know from Episode 6 that she's turning 16.

So that means she was born in 2006.

It's standard Addams Family lore that Wednesday was born on Friday the 13th.

And 2006 only had two Friday the 13ths: January and October.

And since we established that the show runs during the Fall semester...

Wednesday could only have been born in October - which is right on brand for her anyway because it's also the month of Halloween! YAS!

[renatedagmarmilada]

debt

Credit Death

 It is the funeral tomorrow of a young man. A young man so terrified he took his own life. Now we find out that the young man was a victim of easy credit, when he had no money he would taken on more credit to buy a phone, to buy this, to buy that..till the amount was so huge he no longer knew how to cope.

It is not for us to judge what he used the credit for, only that it was too easily available..and before you all start moaning ..the young..and young people now adays...

I have a story to tell you which is about the not so young and how easy it is to get into debt and the debtors courts.

I am a sixty one year old College teacher..now! Many years ago, after my ex left me with young children I decided my best plan was a College education to sort out my future monetary needs. I went to University, struggled to pay my mortgage by working three nights a week at a taxi cab office from seven p.m. to seven a.m. for one pound fifty an hour (minimum wage is three pounds in this country..pah..don't believe it) and took every fourth week off to work as a 'carer' for Stepney Council catching up on the ork the following week.

There are many stories I could tell but this one makes the point that it is

not always 'the young' who are at fault.

I then had to do a PGCE. I applied to East Ham London Council to have my rates paid. Now in the first place, the grant I was promised did not

materialize.

My Comprehensive school (Langdon) rang up and rang up and I even sat with them all afternoon, to no avail..Stratford had decided they had no information. Without a Grant, I had to work at nights and weekends, so after school I taught privately till late and all weekends to have enough money to eat as well as working in school as per usual. I became ill. So ill I had to visit our local hospital at Newham after my Indian G.P had prescribed Prosat (I threw them away thanks to my neighbour's advice - a local social worker) for permanent diarhea and adviced me to attend Hindu discussions which he lectured.

I am tri lingual and was training to teach German and Russian. We wondered if that was the problem, as during my earlier BE'd English specialism diploma, the children I taught had shown a lot of interest in all things Russian I had taught them, including performing plays themselves from Russian Fairy stories I had read to them and this had been frowned on to the extent of very low marks which raised a lot of eyebrows.

Eventually I was so ill, after discussion with my head of department,

I decided my health was worth more and I did not return to my PGCE after the Easter break, still with no Grant!

In June, visiting Stratford LEA offices, they gave me a cheque for the year, too late.

Could I repeat it I asked. No, they didn't think 'they' would like that. Fine, so I got a job teaching at East Ham College. However, in the inbetween, I received a message to go all haste to the council offices at East Ham I had not paid my rates.

I took four certificates-

FOUR- proof that I had been in education at the time. The Institute of Education in the West End must have thought I was mad as I kept trotting to see them, they've lost the last certificate, please can I have another, and another and another.......A very smooth, young black man on the window at the Council Offices, after sweet talking a row of about a dozen pakistanis and bengali citizens, glowered at me : there appears more to this than meets the eye ...huh? I am a polite small lady, then in my early fifties? What could he  mean...

Eventually a bailiff arrived at my house, 'e have to take everything you have for outstanding rates not paid'.I had nothing in my house, the settee had been thrown out by some newly rich asians into the street and most of what I had I had collected from the streets about us..'You wont take my books will you?'

'Oh yes, as you have nothing of value, books will have to go.

I am so sorry, it is not my place to judge what the situation is, just to take your stuff.'

 Now, I am a calm, mature lady who has seen a lot of the world. Imagine something like this with a hot headed, young man!.....you've guessed it and I have actually seen it..ring a credit company and hey presto........

My son's words are probably the most telling:

He didn't earn money so he got credit to buy phones and all that. Credit companies gave him it just to make money.

Doesn't anyone check how it will be paid back?